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Вицове за Зъболекари
English
Zahnarzt-Witze
Chistes de Dentistas
Анекдоты о Зубных Врачах
Blagues sur les Dentistes
Barzellette sui Dentisti
Αστεία για Οδοντιάτρους
Виц за Забни Лекари
Diş Doktoru Şakaları
Жарти про Стоматологів
Piadas sobre Dentistas
Żarty o Dentystach
Tandläkarskämt
Tandarts Grappen
Tandlæge Vittigheder
Tannlege Vitser
Hammaslääkärivitsit
Fogorvosi Viccek
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Зъболекарят:
На заболекар:
Zahnarzt zum Patienten: "Das kann jetzt ein bisschen weh tun." Patient: "Kein Problem" Zahnarzt: "Ich habe seit 3 Jahren ein Verhältnis mit Ihrer Frau."
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’ve been having an affair with your wife for a while now.”
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Какво пише на гроба на стоматолог?
Wat staat er op het graf van een tandarts? .... Hier is z'n laatste gat gevuld!
What is written on a dentist’s grave?
He’s filling his last cavity.
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Große Löcher in den Zähnen
- Господи
Der Zahnarzt:
Зъболекар
- Avatkaa suunne
"Open wider." requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient.
"Dear God!" he said startled. "You've got the biggest cavity I've ever seen - the biggest cavity I've ever seen."
"OK Doc!" replied the patient. "I'm scared enough without you saying something like that twice."
"I didn't!" said the dentist. "That was the echo."
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My friend's dad is a dentist.
This is his pumpkin for Halloween.
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Усмивката..
"Frau Schneider
Mężczyzna do kobiety: - Gdy widzę pani uśmiech
Hij: "Mevrouw
A boy met a girl.... Girl: Every time you smile
"Frøken Hansen
Un mec
- Liisa
— Дівчино
- Valahányszor meglátom önt mosolyogni
A guy is talking to a girl A guy is talking to a girl : "Everytime I see your smile
- Når jeg ser på Deres smil
I was on a train and this woman opposite looked at me and said "Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place..."
I asked "Are you single?"
She replied "No, I'm a dentist."
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Кратки вицови и афоризми за весел старт на работната недела
Der Sohn beim Zahnarzt
Στον Οδοντίατρο
Майка към детето си:
Mamman upprört till sonen: - Säg - AAAH - så doktorn kan ta ut sina fingrar ur din mun.
У дитячого стоматолога: - Вовчику
Der Zahnarzt zu klein Fritzchen: "Jetzt sag mal schön 'A' damit ich meinen Finger wieder bekomme."
Hammaslääkärillä kuultua: - Voisiko kiltti poika nyt avata suunsa? Niin
Dice el dentista: - Señora
U zubaře s dítětem: „Ale Pepíčku
Dantų gydytojo kabinete mama prašo Petriuko: - Petriuk
Mom at a dentist: “Now please darling, open up nicely for the doctor so he can take his hand out!”
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"I thought, Miss Smith, that you wanted yesterday afternoon off because you were seeing your dentist?"
"That's right, Sir."
"So how come I saw you coming out of the movie theatre with a friend?"
"That was my dentist."
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In the courtroom where I worked as a court reporter, a dentist was called as a witness.
He took the oath a few feet from my desk, and I noticed his upraised arm was trembling, apparently from nervousness.
After he finished, I couldn't resist saying softly, "Sit down, Doctor. This won't hurt a bit."
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An old lady went to visit her dentist. When it was her turn
Една баба отива на зъболекар. Сяда на стола и се разкрачва.
Бабичка отива на зъболекар. Ляга на стола и си вдига краката.
Μασέλα
Una donna va da stomatologa
Una mujer acude al dentista. Cuando llega su turno
To takhle přišla do zubní ordinace pěkná ženská
Przychodzi baba do dentysty
Aquela senhora
En äldre dam kom in till tandläkaren
An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes and spread her legs. The dentist said:
''I think you have the wrong room.''
''You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."
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Two Reasons why it's so hard to solve a redneck мurdеr:
Firstly, the DNA all matches and secondly, there are no dental records.
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Зъболекарят казва на пациента:
Mentre sta lavorando con il trapano il dentista dice al paziente: "Per favore
Un dentista le dice a su paciente: - Oiga
Un dentista
Hos tannlegen fikk Sander en noe uventet oppfordring: – Vennligst skrik så høyt du bare kan
Un dentist
A vizsgálat befejeztével a fogorvos azt mondja a páciensnek: - Megkérhetem
Zubař prosí pacienta: „Buďte tak hodný a zakřičte
Een tandarts tegen een pati?: "Zou u zo vriendelijk willen zijn even heel hard te schreeuwen?" "Waarom?"
- Te rog
A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him and asked; “could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?”
The surprised patient said; “why doctor, it wasn’t all that bad this time!”
The dentist said; “there are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don’t want to miss the four o’clock train.”
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Пациент отива с остра болка при виден зъболекар:
Мъж с болни зъби отива на зъболекар
Lennart gick till tandläkaren för att dra ut en tand. – Vi får lägga bedövning
El dentista le explica al hombre que debía extraerle la muela para lo que lo iba a anestesiar. Comienza a preparar la jeringa cuando el hombre lo interrumpe: - Nada de agujas
The dentist pulls out a Novocain needle to give the man a shot, so he can extract the man's tooth. 'No way! No needles. I hate needles' the patient said.
The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man objects I can't do the gas thing. The thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating to me! The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection to taking a pill. 'No objection,' the patient says. 'I'm fine with pills.'
The dentist then returns and says, Here's a Viаgrа tablet.'
The patient says, 'Wow! I didn't know Viаgrа worked as a pain killer!'
It doesn't' said the dentist, 'but it's going to give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth.
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Wie wird eine Zahnarzt zum Gehirnchirurgen?
Как стоматолог може да стане мозъчен хирург?
How did the dentist become a brain surgeon?
His drill slipped
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During the last Yom Kippur High Holiday, many individuals expressed concern over the seating arrangements in the synagogue. In order for us to place you in a seat which will best suit you, we ask you to complete the following questionnaire and return it to the synagogue office as soon as possible. I would prefer to sit in the... (Check one.
- _ Talking section.
- _ No talking sectionIf talking, which category do you prefer?
(Indicate order of interest.
- _ Stock market.
- _ Sports.
- _ Medicine.
- _ General gossip.
- _ Specific gossip (choose from below.
- _ The rabbi.
- _ The cantor.
- _ The cantor's voice.
- _ The cantor's significant other.
- _ The rabbi�s significant other.
- _ Fashion news.
- _ What others are wearing.
- _ Why they look awful.
- _ My neighbors.
- _ My relatives.
- _ My neighbors' relatives.
- _ Presidential Election, results from.
- _ Who is cheating on/having an affair with whom.
- _ My children/grandchildren.
- _ Other:_______________________________Which of the following would you like to be near for free professional advice?
- Doctor.
- Dentist.
- Nutritionist.
- Psychiatrist.
- Child psychiatrist.
- Podiatrist.
- Chiropractor.
- Stockbroker.
- Accountant.
- Lawyer, General Practice.
- Criminal Lawyer.
- Civil Lawyer.
- Real estate agent.
- Architect.
- Plumber.
- Buyer (Specify store:_____________ )
- Sexologist (??)
- Golf pro [tentative; we're still trying to find a Jewish One]
- Other:____________________________I want a seat located (Indicate order of priority.
- On the aisle.
- Near the exit.
- Near the window.
- In Aruba.
- Near the bathroom.
- Near my in-laws.
- As far away from my in-laws as possible.
- As far away from my ex-in-laws as possible.
- Near the pulpit.
- Near single men.
- Near available women.
- Where no one on the bimah can see/hear me talking during services.
- Where no one will notice me sleeping during services.
- Where I can sleep during the rabbi's sermon [additional charge]
- Where I can text from my iPhone (SHHHH)(Orthodox only.) I would like a seat where:
- I can see my spouse over the mechitza.
- I cannot see my spouse over the mechitza.
- I can see my friend's spouse over the mechitza.
- My spouse cannot see me looking at my friend's spouse over the mechitzaPlease do not place me anywhere near the following people:
(Limit of six; if you require more space, you may wish to consider joining another congregation.)
- _______________________
- _______________________
- _______________________
- _______________________
- _______________________
- _______________________Your name:_________________________________
Building fund pledge (acknowledging and in grateful appreciation for
This change): $________________________
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Dentist's Hymn: Crown Him with Many Crowns
Weatherman's Hymn: There Shall Be Showers of Blessings
Contractor's Hymn: The Church's One Foundation
Tailor's Hymn: Holy, Holy, Holy
Golfer's Hymn: There's a Green Hill Far Away
Politician's Hymn: Standing on the Promises
Optometrist's Hymn: Open My Eyes That I Might See
IRS Agent's Hymn: I Surrender All
Gossip's Hymn: Pass It On
Electrician's Hymn: Send The Light
Shopper's Hymn: Sweet By and By
Realtor's Hymn: I've Got a Mansion, Just Over the Hilltop
Massage Therapist's Hymn: He Touched Me
Doctor's Hymn: The Great Physician
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A pregnant lady learns from her dentist that she needs a root canal.
She says to the dentist, "dаrn ... I'd just as soon give birth as have a root canal".
The dentist replies, "well, make up your mind so I know what position to put the chair in".
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Ten years without brushing causes horrible tooth decade.
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They called him the king of the dentists because he specialized in crowns.
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