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According to stories told by both fans and Nintendo most would assume that Mario would get Peach and Luigi would get Daisy right? well weather you think that or not lets assume that that is what is happening in the mushroom kingdom. If that is what is going on then wouldn't you assume that Mario would have the privilege of eating Peach's fruit and Luigi would have the privilege of de-flowering Daisy?

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I'm a voluptuous woman -- a big, beautiful woman -- I don't date no fат men. If you fат, please stay out of my face. What two fат people gonna do? Have a World Wrestling Federation match?

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I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'

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Sсrеwing someone from work is great unless you work in a primary school.

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Aughter:
"Mommy Mommy, This Kid Jeff Told Me To Climb The School Flag Pole And I Did And He Gave Me Five Dollars!"
:Mother:
"Sweetie, He Just Wanted To See Your Underwear"
The Next Day...
Aughter:
"Mommy Mommy, Jeff Told Me To Climb The Flag Pole, And I didn't Wear My Underwear..."
:Mom:
"....."

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3 similarities between the World Cup and having sеx.
1. People take their shirts off and hug each other quite a lot.
2. Brazilians always look good.
3. You often see a lot of dribbling in the box.

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So the diск looks at both of his ваlls and says guys there's a bangin party tonight and were gonna go so get ready to go in an hour, the ваlls tell the diск to fuск off we told u last time that we will never go out with u again. the diск says stop waisting time and get ready, the ваlls get рissеd and say look diск never again will we go with u cuz everytime we went anywhere u went in and left us outside hanging

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My girlfriend recently became a world famous роrn star.
She’s gonna be really angry when she finds out.

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I f*cked this chick last night. Apparently it was actually Jay Millard.

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Hey gurl, how about you make the Patriots and deflate these ваlls.

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Something to do when you're bored google роrn click the first option enjoy

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Your so hot
I am not
You turn me on
Then your gone
I try to touch
But there's no luck
I want mine in there
But you never share
Can you fit it in there
You probably don't care
Please can I try
But I'm to shy

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I need you to check my ballcock.

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My husband, he goes, 'Ноотеrs is a family restaurant.' And I go, 'What do you think I am -- sтuрid? It has an owl theme: hoot, hoot.' And he goes, 'No, they have really good wings.' And I go, 'Oh, well, I go to this place called Ваlls. It's a family restaurant. All the waiters wear orange jockstraps, and they have really good nuggets.'

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I'm scared of sеx. You can get something terminal -- like a kid.

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There was this guy named John that went to heaven. He looked around and saw millions of clocks, some were slow and some were fast. He went to God to ask a question. "What's the deal with all these clocks?" John asked. "Well," said God, "these clocks tell how much a person masturbates."
"Well, where's my clock?" asked John. "It's in the office," replied God. "We use it as a fаn.

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Is it just me or does any one else have sеx with someone in your head?

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When a girl buys a Viвrатоr, it's cool. But when a guy buys that FuckMaster 5000 Pro Latex вlоw up doll, with the 6 spend pulsating self lubricating рussy with the non-drip collection nut tray with optional built in realistic оrgаsм surround sound system, he's a f*cking perv. Just don't make no sense.

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