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I can guarantee a rough re-entry.
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Q. What was the first thing that Adam said when Eve was created?
A. “Ha ha ha, looks like yours has fallen off.”
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Just finished eating Nutella. My hand looks like I excavated my аss.
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Kid: Go Fuск yourself
Kid2: at least I can say the alphabet, you choke on the d Everybody else: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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Decided to have a posh wаnк today.
The people at the suit hire shop were really angry that I ruined their tuxedo.
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Are you a Nice girl or Good girl?: NICE girls blush when they watch роrn, GOOD girls smile cause they know they can do better.
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What's the difference between sand and menstrual blood? You can't gargle sand.
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After a hard day at work, a man comes home and sees his wife sliding down the stair railing. He asks, "What are you doing?" She replies,
" Warming up your supper."
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If you're gonna blame teen sеx on rock 'n' roll, why don't we just blame inсеsт on country and western?
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I’ll never forget the first time I had sеx. It helps that I still have the receipt.
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When a woman вrеаsт feeds in public it's called natural, but when I do it, the woman calls the cops.
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Can’t believe my website which teaches children how to play guitar has now been blocked by Google and removed from the search results to prevent child abuse… On reflection maybe naming my website fingeringkids. Com was a bad idea.
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My girlfriend's father called me a реdорhilе because I'm 36 and she's 22. Completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.
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Got really bad sunburn yesterday so I decided to take Viаgrа. It doesn’t cure it but it really helps when sleeping to keep the bedsheets off my legs.
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A lady takes her 5 year old son to the zoo. One of the first thing they saw was a couple animals doing it. The 5 year old asks, "Mommy, what are they doing?" She didn't know what to say, so she said "Well,they're making fish sticks." Five minutes later, a couple more animals were doing it and again he asked the same thing and again she said "They are making fish sticks." When they got home, she was in the bedroom with her husband for about ten minutes, and when she got out, her son ran up to her and asked "Mommy, were you in the bedroom making fish sticks with Daddy?" She said,
"As a matter of fact we were." And he replied, "I thought so, because I can see tarter sauce on your сhin."
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"Harassment"
My wife walked in on my having sеx with another girl, i told her not to worry because "Harassment" nothing to me
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What do you call a woman who loves holding onto ваlls?
Annette.
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My thruster is firing as we speak!
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