Dirty jokes

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"Harassment"
My wife walked in on my having sеx with another girl, i told her not to worry because "Harassment" nothing to me

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What do you call a woman who loves holding onto ваlls?
Annette.

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My thruster is firing as we speak!

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Before we got married, she was like a good health plan -- I had full coverage, you know what I'm saying? Once we got married, she turned into a HMO, selective coverage. I'm like, 'Hey, you keep this up, I'm going to have to go outside the network.'

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I'm so confused. This girl texted me and it said "thespacebuttononmyphoneisbrokenpleasegivemeanalternative" Does anyone know what 'ternative' means?

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Jack and Jill went up up the hill to fetch a pale of water I don't know wht they did up there but they came down with a daughter

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I’ve got nothing against gаys but I wish they would stop sending me junk mail about ‘free cavity filling’.

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Whats long hard and girls dance on it
A striper pole
You perv

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Q. What do vaginas and the weather have in common?
A. When its wet you should go inside.

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Life's not a garden , don't be a hoe

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I really wish I could understand what girls with big воовs are saying.

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The following conversation took place on an airplane.
Air Hostess: Would you like head-phones.
Man: Yes I would. How did you know my name was Phones?

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Anant's poem on sex
I said 1,
She said come.
I said 2,
She said do.
I said 3,
She was open and free
I said 4,
Her pantees were on the floor
I said 5,
Her bush was like a bee hive
I said 6 ,
It was fixed
I said 7
She was in heaven
I said 8
We were infront of the hospital gate
I said 9
The baby was fine
I said 10
She said come again

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Q. Why did the butcher go to hospital?
A. He cut the wrong sausage.

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Hey baby, you look weightless to me.

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I sometimes wonder if necrophiliacs are really into dead people or if they just enjoy the quiet.

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Name an activity that 9 out of 10 people enjoy.
Gang Rape

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So a pickle and cucumber where talking. the cucumber said to the pickle when ever i get big fат and juice i get sliced up and put on a salad, the pickle said when i get big fат and juice i get sliced up and put in a jar. a реnis over heard the conversation and said that's nothing, when i get big fат and juice my owner put a bag over my head and sticks me in a dark smelly room and makes me do push-ups until i throw up.

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