Dirty jokes

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular

My friend: you where a mistake your parents didn't want a kid like you!
Me: well at least I wasn't born on a interstate where accidents happen!!!!!
Other friends: OHHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIT!

0

0

There are some nights, when it comes to sеx, I'm like one of those goldfish you used to win as a party favor.... Sure, I'll twitch around for a couple minutes, but before you know it, I'm flat on my back.

0

0

A blind woman told me I had a big реnis yesterday. I think she was pulling my leg.

0

0

Why not change every Big Red Button for a pair of воовs ? As every man will press it anyway .

0

0

I need to investigate your hot junction.

0

0

What do you call an epileptic in a bath tub?
A washing machine

0

0

Guy- I have a bonner for you. Girl- I know your c***k can't handle the pressure.
Guy- Ya, it needs to go in mouth.
Girl- Defintely not mine. Guy- Yes, yours baby. Girl- I was warned not to put any small objects in mouth... You know they have choking harzards.

0

0

A girl only has one heart so playing around with it is wrong, play with her воовs instead, she’s got two of them.

0

0

Just been kicked out of University for jerking off.
I should have listened more carefully when I was asked me to join the Mass Debate Club.

0

0

Me and my wife of over 10 years have a Love life that's just like 50 shades,
..... Fictional .

0

0

Wow, you have a lot of baggage. Do you need to unload on me?

0

0

I always stop to help stranded vehicles cause I'm a gentlemen... Plus I've seen enough роrn to know the possibilities.

0

0

My friends all got really into that show 'The Deadliest Catch.' But I never watched it 'cause I always just assumed it was about AIDS. It's about сrавs. Don't tune in looking for that 'Big AIDS Hour.'

0

0

Teacher: Guess what?
Class: WHAT?!
Teacher: I'm going to have a baby!
Class: How?!
Kid: She had SЕX!
Class:What's that?
Kid: Where the doorknob goes into the рussy cat.
Class: Oooh.
Teacher: That's enough!

0

0

No man who has the option to spend his weekends down in a border town whоrеhоusе getting his a**hole tickled is instead going to choose... to lock himself in a laboratory in order to design the ultimate clock.

0

0

A рussy had a sad life. Her hair was tangled,her neighbor was a diск,and every so often,a drop of blood will come out of here mouth.

0

0

A man and his wife were on their honeymoon. The husband took off his pants and handed them to his wife.
"See if they fit."
"They don't."
"Now you see who will wear the pants in this house." She thought a little while, and took off her раnтiеs and asked him to try them on.
"I can't get into these."
"And you won't, either, with that attitude."

0

0

What do you call someone who sleeps with old people?
An OAP-daphile.

0

0