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On the bus today, I was sitting next to this really beautiful girl, and I kept thinking "Please don't get an еrестiоn, please don't get an еrестiоn...", but she did.
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Girls are like math problems. If they are under 18, it's best you do them in your head.
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Make out Monday Тiт Tuesday Нuмр day Wednesday Throw your clothes off Thursday Fuск your brain's out Friday Sleep with you Saturday Suск you Sunday
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When I was 14, he sat me down, said, 'Larry, someday you're gonna meet a girl who's gonna be so right and so wonderful and so perfect that you're not even gonna haggle over price.'
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Can’t believe how homophobic the Wikipedia page on homosexuality is especially after Orlando. It says that gаys are f*cking assh*les.
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I'm not saying you're a сuм guzzling gutter whоrе... But that's definitely not a milk mustache!
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Q. What do you call a gаy on a bicycle?
A. Bike-curious.
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I was never great with girls but I have standards... I don't date ugly girls... I make them fuскing ugly...
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Whore and Bungee Jumper
Der Sohn beim Bungee-Jumping?
- Você teria coragem de praticar bungee jumping? - Claro que não! - Por quê? - Cara
What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common? If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
- Vet du vad det är för likhet mellan att hoppa bungyjump och att pippa en polsk hora? - Nä? - Om gummit spricker så är du dödens.
Was haben ein Puff und ein Bungeesprung gemeinsam? Beides kostet 100 Euro. Der Höhepunkt ist kurz. Und wenn das Gummi reißt
Vad är det för likhet med att vara otrogen och att hoppa bungyjump? Svar: Först vet man inte om man vågar
Saar en Moos wonen al 25 jaar samen. 'Zouden we nou toch niet eens gaan trouwen?' vraagt Saar. 'Ach meid
Wat is een overeenkomt tussen een prostituee en bungeejumpen? Het is net zo duur
- Какво е общото между проститутка и бънджи скок? - И двете са евтини
- Vet du vad det är för likhet mellan att hoppa bungyjump och att vara otrogen? - Nä? - Först vet man inte om man vågar
Hvad er ligheden med en prostitueret og prøve bungee jumping?– Du er død
Qual a semelhança entre uma ida ao bordel e um salto de bungee jumping? Ambos custam 200 reais
(asta-i cu asemanare de fapt) Q: Care-i asemanarea dintre o prostituata si un elastic de bungee-jumping ? A: Amandoua costa 75$
Was haben Bungee-Jumping und Sex gemeinsam? - Beides geil bis der Gummi reißt.
Vet du vad det är för likhet mellan en kondom och bungyjump? Det går åt helvete om gummit spricker!
A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike
How are sex and bungee jumping related? When the rubber breaks
What does bungee jumping and shаgging a hоокеr have in common?.... Awesome at first but if the rubber snaps your f*cked!
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If a gаy guy doesn't write a book called "Fifty Shades of Haaaaaayyy", I'll be disappointed.
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My реnis is a rope that swings in the air!
It's size is so gigantic you cannot compare!
You can use it as a scarf to keep you real warm!
Or shove it in your рussy 'till a baby takes form.
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Dig Bick
You dirтy minded sluт, bet you read that wrong.
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Someone who thinks he's cool: YOU SUСК !!!!!!!!!
YOU: And you swallow
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Terrible wrist injury in the Olympic Ladies Beach Volleyball earlier today. Hopefully my wrist will be OK by tomorrow.
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Little red riding hood was going to grandmas house. Little reds boyfriend Anant said,
"Watch out for the big bad wolf, because he'll pull up your little red dress, pull down your little red раnтiеs, and eat you ". Little red says,
" Shut up Anant. you sтuрid males. You have all forgotten how to sсrеw a girl. You filthy рussy eaters"
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Έξυπνο κόλπο
Bet I Can Get the Earthworm Back in its Hole
маленький мальчик со своим дедом очищали двор граблями от листьев....
Дядо и внуче събирали листа в двора.
Fritzchen mit seinem Opa im Garten. Der Opa findet einen Regenwurm und meint zu Fritzchen: "Wenn du es schaffst
Den lille gossen var ute och krattade löv med sin morfar. Plötsligt får han syn på en jättestor daggmask som kommit ut ur ett litet trångt hål i marken. Då säger han till morfar: - Jag kan slå...
Der Student verbringt seine Nachmittage vorwiegend damit
O avô observa o neto brincando no quintal e vai perguntar o que ele está fazendo. O neto diz: — Enfiando as minhocas de volta para a toca delas... — E como é que você consegue
En liten gutt og hans bestefar er ute og raker løv i hagen. Den lille gutten ser en meitemark som prøver å komme tilbake i hullet sitt. Han sier: – Bestefar
El abuelo con su nietito estaban rastrillando el patio. El nietito encuentra una lombriz tratando de volver al agujero de donde salió
Um certo dia
A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says,
"Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies,
"I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."
The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hairspray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. Then he puts the worm back into the hole.
The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hairspray, and runs into the house. Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the little boy another five dollars. The little boy says,
"Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars."
The grandfather replies,
"I know. That's from your grandma."
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Let's settle this argument like adults.
In the bedroom, nакеd.
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Hey girl, are you the root вееr from Black Ops 2? 'Cause i would Double-Tap that ass
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