Dirty jokes

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PLEASE KICKASS if you want China to stop eating dogs.
If you click lame you're cruel.

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When they said joining the army was like the movies, I didn't think they meant Brokeback Mountain

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People always ask me why me and My ex-girl broke up. Ok this is what happen one she caught me blowing my diск with her hair dryer, and she asked me what the hеll are you doing And apparently "heating up your dinner" wasn't a good answer

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There's no refusin' my infusion.

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A guy went to the beach to lay down and relax and had a newspaper covering his private parts but then a little girl came up to him and said what is under the newspaper and the guy said, my birdie don't touch it and then the guy went to sleep and soon after he woke up he found out that he was in the hospital and his private parts were hurting an then he saw the little girl right next to him and asked what happened and the little girl said when you were asleep I played with your birdie and then it spat on me so I broke the neck, busted the eggs, and burned its nest.

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What does a pirate say when he's getting a вlоw job
Thar She Blows

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I’m so ugly my favorite sеxuаl position is facing a computer screen.

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Q. What do you call someone who can masterbait with both hands?
A. Ambijerkstress

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Can’t believe how sexist my local gym is. They cancelled my membership because they said apparently “men aren’t allowed in the female shower rooms”.

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Q. Who has the best business model someone who deals drugs or a stripper?
A. A stripper because she can wash her сrаск and sell it again.

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Q. What hard and pink when it goes in and soft and wet when it comes out.
A. Bubblegum

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Has anyone else seen the headlines, "Orlando Bloom throws a punch at Justin Beiber"? What's your opinion? I personally think its wrong to hit little girls.

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What's one of the worst things about giving a man a вlоw job? The view.

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Remember turning 21? It all happens all at once -- boom -- legal to drink вееr, illegal to sleep with 16-year-old girls. Really threw me, actually. It's not fair. They give you something good, and then they take something better away.

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The Titanic was built to last, let that sink in.

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You look like you'd like some stuffing.

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Do you mind if my secretary watches?

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What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild?
A $100 bill Of coarse!

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