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Engineering & Engineers Jokes
Engineering & Engineers Jokes
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What's the similarity between a dentist and an engineering graduate?
Both hate plaques
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A big city lawyer was called in on a case between a farmer and a large railroad company. The farmer noticed that his prize соw was missing from the field through which the railroad passed. He filed suit against the railroad company for the value of the соw. The case was to be tried before the Justice of the Peace in the back room of the General Store.
The attorney immediately cornered the farmer and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and the farmer finally agreed to take half of what he was claiming to settle the case. After the farmer signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn't help but gloat a little over his success.
He said to the farmer,
"You know, I hate to tell you this but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your farm that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand."
The old farmer replied,
"Well, I'll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself because that durned соw came home this morning!"
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An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?"
Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the plant and get some work done."
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Scene: A radio newsroom.
Caller: "I just wanted to let you know you're off the air."
Host: "Yes, we know. The engineers are working on it."
Caller: "It would be nice if you put something on the air that says that."
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optimist
Оптимистите твърдят
Pour une personne optimiste
- Para el optimista
Der Optimist: "Das Glas ist halb voll" Der Pessimist: "Das Glas ist halb leer" Der Ingenieur: "Das Glas ist doppelt so groß wie es sein müsste"
El Optimista ve la botella medio llena El pesimista medio vacía Y el ingeniero ve que la botella tiene el doble de tamaño del necesario para esta solución particular.
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
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Ако вземеш идеята на някои се нарича плагиатстване
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
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An engineer can build a car, spaceship or even a time machine.
He just can't build a relationship with a girl
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Arguing with an Engineer is a lot like wrestling in the mud with a pig, after a couple of hours you realize the pig likes it
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When you ask an engineer for his address...
- What is you address
- 127.0.0.1
- No shiт dork, your physical address
- 00:25:B5:AA:01:1F
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