Which room is safest for him?1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms.
The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?
2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?
4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday?
5. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact,nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!
THE ANSWERS TO ALL FIVE THE RIDDLES ARE BELOW:
Answers:
1. The third room. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.That one was easy, right?
2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry (shot; held under water; and hung).
3. Charcoal, as it is used in barbecuing.
4. Sure you can name three consecutive days, yesterday, today, and tomorrow!
5. The letter e, which is the most common letter used in the English language, does not appear even once in the paragraph.
How did you do?
Every Friday after work, a mathematician goes down to the Ice Cream Parlor, sits in the second-to-last seat, turns to the last seat, which is empty, and asks a girl, who isn't there, if he can buy her an ice cream cone.
The owner, who is used to the weird, local university types, always shrugs but keeps quiet. But when Valentine's Day arrives, and the mathematician makes a particularly heart wrenching plea into empty space, curiosity gets the better of him, and he says, "I apologize for my sтuрid questions, but surely you know there is never a woman sitting in that last stool, man. Why do you persist in talking to empty space?"
The mathematician replies, "Well, according to quantum physics, empty space is never truly empty. Virtual particles come into existence and vanish all the time. You never know when the proper wave function will collapse and a girl might suddenly appear there."
The owner raises his eyebrows. "Really? Interesting. But couldn't you just ask one of the girls who comes here every Friday if you could buy HER a cone? You never know... she might say yes."
The mathematician laughs. "Yeah, right. How likely is THAT to happen?"
A young man wanted to buy a pair of expensive gloves for his sweetheart's birthday. He went to an expensive boutique, bought the finest gloves available, and asked the saleswoman to have them delivered along with a note he had written. Unfortunately, the clerk mixed up the order while wrapping the merchandise. Instead of the expensive gloves, the clerk accidentally wrapped a pair of раnтiеs and sent them to the young man's sweetheart along with the following note which he had written. Darling:
I have been trying desperately to come up with a special gift for your birthday. I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but since your sister wears the short ones which are so easy to remove, I wanted to get the same style for you. You may be concerned that these are a delicate shade, however, the saleslady showed me a pair that she had been wearing for three weeks and they were hardly soiled. She said that there are a couple of important care considerations that I should mention to you. First, when you take them off, remember to вlоw in them before putting them away since they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Second, be sure to keep them on while cleaning them so that they won't shrink. The saleslady made such an impression upon me that I had her try them on for me. She really looked great in them and I can just imagine how great they are going to look on you. I decided to mail these so that you would have them in time for your birthday. I really hesitated because I wanted so much to be there to watch you put them on for the first time. There is little doubt in my mind that many other hands will have touched them before I see you again. I can hardly wait to run my own hands over them or do as the French do, and gently kiss them. I hope you really like them and will wear them for me on Friday night. PS: The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.
THESE ARE ACTUAL SCHOOL ABSENCES (SUPPOSEDLY) FROM PARENTS -- INCLUDING SPELLING.*My son is under a doctor's care today and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.*Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.*Dear School: Please ekscuse John for being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.*Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating. *Please excuse Roland frrom P.E. for a few days. Yesterday, he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip. *John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.*Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.*Megan could not come to school today because she has been botheres by very close veins.*Chris will not be in school because he has an acre in his side.*Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.*Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.*Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.*Please excuse Jim for being. It was his father's fault.*I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.*Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday. *Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.*My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.*Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.*Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.*Please excuse brenda, she has been sick and under the doctor.*Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best, either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
Taipei, Taiwan (AP) - Diners tempted to liск a plate after a delicious meal can now go a step further - eat the plate.
Chen Liang-erh, 50, an amateur inventor, announced Friday that he had perfected an edible plate made from wheat grain, and that he planned to mass-produce it and other edible crockery including cups, bowls and food containers.
Chen spent six years developing the plate, which he said would retail at about 7 cents each.
Diners who don't want to eat the items - which taste like unsalted popcorn - can boil them for a nutritious meal for animals, he said.
Chen said this can help reduce pollution caused by discarded crockery. The only disadvantage, he said, is his crockery cannot be washed and reused.
Most Friday nights at the naval station in Bermuda, we would assemble at the officer's club after work. Z
One Friday, Rick, a newly married ensign, insisted he had to leave at 6 p.m.
We all tried to talk him into staying, but he'd promised his bride he'd be home by six. I offered to call home for Rick.
When his wife answered the phone, I said, 'Rick has been kidnapped.
Put five dollars in small, unmarked bills in a plain brown paper bag and throw it in the door of the officer's club.' Then I hung up.
A short time later, a waiter brought a grocery bag to our table.
In it were Rick's baseball glove, a tennis racket, and a teddy bear.
Attached to the bear was a note:
'Rick can play kidnapped until 7 p.m. Then he must come home.'
You can never tell which way the train went by lookingat the track.
Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrongconclusion with confidence.
Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damnfool discovers something which either abolishes thesystem or expands it beyond recognition.
Technology is dominated by those who manage what theydo not understand.
If builders built buildings the way programmers wroteprograms, then the first woodpecker that came alongwould destroy civilization.
The opulence of the front office decor varies inverselywith the fundamental solvency of the firm.
The attention span of a computer is only as long as itelectrical cord.
An expert is one who knows more and more about less andless until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.
Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universeand he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet painton it and he'll have to touch to be sure.
All great discoveries are made by mistake.
Always draw your curves, then plot your reading.
Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
All's well that ends.
A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept andthe hours are lost.
The first myth of management is that it exists.
A failure will not appear till a unit has passed finalinspection.
New systems generate new problems.
To err is human, but to really foul things up requires acomputer.
We don't know one millionth of one percent aboutanything.
Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishablefrom magic.
A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20men working 20 years make.
The faster a computer is, the faster it will reach acrashed state.
Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss puttingin an honest day's work.
Some people manage by the book, even though they don'tknow who wrote the book or even what book.
The primary function of the design engineer is to makethings difficult for the fabricator and impossible forthe serviceman.
To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job willtake the longest and cost the most.
After all is said and done, a hеll of a lot more is saidthan done.
Any circuit design must contain at least one part which isobsolete, two parts which are unobtainable and three partswhich are still under development.
A complex system that works is invariably found to haveevolved from a simple system that works.
If mathematically you end up with the incorrect answer, trymultiplying by the page number.
Computers are unreliable, but humans are even moreunreliable. Any system which depends on humanreliability is unreliable.
Give all orders verbally. Never write anything down thatmight go into a "Pearl Harbor File."
Under the most rigorously controlled conditions ofpressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and othervariables the organism will do as it dамn well pleases.
If you can't understand it, it is intuitively obvious.
The more cordial the buyer's secretary, the greater the oddsthat the competition already has the order.
In designing any type of construction, no overall dimen-sion can be totaled correctly after 4:30 p.m. on Friday. Thecorrect total will become self-evident at 8:15 a.m. onMonday.
Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. And scratch where ititches.
All things are possible except skiing through a revolvingdoor.
The only perfect science is hind-sight.
Work smarder and not harder and be careful of yor speling.
If it's not in the computer, it doesn't exist.
If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
When all else fails, read the instructions.
If there is a possibility of several things going wrongthe one that will cause the most damage will be the oneto go wrong.
Everything that goes up must come down.
Any instrument when dropped will roll into the leastaccessible corner.
Any simple theory will be worded in the most complicatedway.
Build a system that even a fool can use and only a foolwill want to use it.
The degree of technical competence is inverselyproportional to the level of management.
Any attempt to print Murphy's laws will jam the printer.
One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will ask a question to the class and anyone who answers correctly doesn't have to go to school the following Monday.
On the first Friday, the teacher asks, "How many grains of sand are in the beach?" Needless to say, no one could answer.
The following Friday, the teacher asks the class, "How many stars are in the sky?" and again no one could answer. Frustrated, little Johnny decides that the next Friday, he would somehow answer the question and get a 3 day weekend.
So Thursday night, Johnny takes two ping-pong ваlls and paints them black. The next day, he brings them to school in a paper bag. At the end of the day, just when the teacher says, "Here's this week's question," Johnny empties the bag to the floor sending the ping-pong ваlls rolling to the front of the room. Because they are young kids who find any disruption of class amusing, the entire class starts laughing.
The teacher says, " Okay, who's the comedian with the black ваlls?"
Immediately, little Johnny stands up and says, "Bill Cosby, see ya on Tuesday!"