Gross jokes, Disgusting jokes
A family walks into a talent agency.
It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog.
The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act.
You should represent us."
The agent says,
"Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says,
"Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says,
"OK. OK. I'll take a look."
One night as a bartender is closing up his bar, he hears a knock at the back door. When he opens the door, there stands a вuм who asks, "Can I have a toothpick?"
The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up his bar. Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the door. Again, there stands another вuм who asks, "Can I have a toothpick?"
The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up the bar. Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the back door. This time, there's a вuм asking for a straw. The owner gives him a straw, but finally asks what's going on out there. The вuм replies, "Some lady threw up in the back, but all the good stuff is gone."
An old lady goes to the doctor and says, "I have this problem with frequent gas.
Fortunately, the farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 10 times since I've been here, and I bet you didn't even notice!"The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back next week."The next week the old lady returns. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hеll you gave me, but now my silent farts stink like the dickens."The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."