Lawyer Jokes

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Miss DeAngelo was a not-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star.
She didn’t find fame or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her plentiful charms, and soon she found herself called to testify in a divorce case.
When it was her turn on the stand, the lawyer came forward.
"Miss DeAngelo, the wife of the defendant has identified you as the ‘other woman’ in her husband’s life. Now, do you admit that you went to the Pricerite Motel with this Mr. Evans?"
"Well, yes," acknowledged Miss DeAngelo with a sniff, "but I couldn’t help it."
"Couldn’t help it?" asked the lawyer derisively. "How’s that?"
"Mr. Evans deceived me."
"Exactly what do you mean?"
"See, when we signed in," she explained, "he told the motel clerk I was his wife."
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A famous lawyer, who had been a public defender for years, dies. He finds himself standing at the back of an enormous queue outside the gates of Heaven. The queue before him is enormous. The number of people who die in a single day appalls him. He can barely see St Peter sitting up on a podium outside the gates with a large book. Every now and then St Peter glances down the queue to see how he is going. Suddenly he catches the eye of the lawyer. He looks very surprised. He jumps down from the podium and comes running along the line until slightly out of breath he arrives beside the lawyer. He embraces him. He pulls him out of the queue and motions for him to come to the front of the queue. Another person questions what is happening and another angel speaks to the person. Word is passed along the queue and the lawyer is surprised, as people start nodding and clapping. He becomes embarrassed by all the attention and asks St Peter why he is getting the special attention.
St Peter stops suddenly and looks concerned.
"You are a lawyer aren't you?'
"Yes" the lawyer replies. "Does this happen to all lawyers in heaven?"
"Oh, no, "Said St Peter. "It's just you are the first one to ever get here."
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The lawyer is standing at the gate to Heaven and St. Peter is listing his sins: 1) Defending a large corporation in a pollution suit where he knew they were guilty. 2) Defending an obviously guilty murderer because the fee was high. 3) Overcharging fees to many clients. 4) Prosecuting an... Prawnik z Nowego Jorku C’est un avocat qui se présente à Saint Pierre pour voir un peu si il ne pourrait pas rentrer au Paradis. Saint Pierre prend son dossier et énumère ses pêchés : 1 ) Vous avez défendu une grosse...
A new York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Sаinт Peter asks him "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?" The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street." Sаinт Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true.
Saint Peter said, "Well , that's fine, but it's not really quite enough to get you into Heaven." The Lawyer said, "Wait Wait! There's more! Three years ago I also gave a homeless person a quarter." Sаinт Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified.
Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, "Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?"
Gabriel gave the Lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Sаinт Peter,
"Let's give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Неll."
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Saddam Hussein in a Foxhole Lion Въпрос: Si tu estas perdido en una isla desierta con Adolfo Hitler
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The Hit and Run Case докарват една мутра Некој богат човек си се возел во новото Ферари и направил сообраќајка… A successful London banker parked his brand new Porsche in front of the office A lawyer opened the door of his BMW One day Un abogado se compra un BMW nuevito y sale a mostrárselo a los otros abogados en el tribunal. Llega y estaciona sobre la derecha En advokat körde på landsvägen med sin nya BMW och sjöng för sig själv: - Jag älskar min BMW Um advogado estacionou seu BMW novo em folha na frente de seu escritório Ein Porschefahrer überschlägt sich mit seinem Wagen auf der Autobahn. Als die Sanitäter ihn aus dem Wagen bergen jammert dieser: "Mein Porsche Een advocaat opende de deur van zijn BMW toen er plotseling een auto langs kwam rijden die de deur raakte en hem er finaal afreed. Toen de politie op de plaats van het ongeval arriveerde Jedzie Szkot autem Clodomiro era un abogado muy avaro Een advocaat loopt naar zijn auto en doet de deur open. Er komt ineens een auto heel hard aanrijden. Hij raakt de deur van de auto van de advocaat. De deur vliegt er vanaf. De advocaat belt de... One day in New York City A lawyer opens the door of his BMW. Another car speeds by and hits the door Um judeu estava viajando com sua BMW Een rijke patser krijgt met zijn Ferrari een geweldig auto ongeluk. Hij moet uit het wrak gezaagd worden en de zwaar gewonde man jammert terwijl de brandweer bezig is. "Oh mijn ferrari... Mijn... Ένας δικηγόρος πάει να κατεβεί από το αυτοκίνητο του Atrasado para a audiência
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