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Вицове за Отношенията мъже-жен... English Kampf der Geschlechter, Männer... Hombres y Mujeres Анекдоты про Мужа и Жену Blagues Hommes vs Femmes Barzellette Uomini e Donne Ανέκδοτα γυναικών - αντρών Он и Она Kadın Erkek Fıkraları Анекдоти про Жінок і Чоловіків Homens e Mulheres Mężczyźni i Kobiety Män och Kvinnor Mannen en vrouwen moppen, Mop... Mænd - Kvinder-vittigheder Han og henne Miehet ja Naiset Férfiak és Nők Bancuri Barbati Si Femei Vtipy o mužích a ženách, Muži ... Anekdotai apie vyrus ir moteri... Vīrieši un Sievietes Muškarci i Žene
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Men-Women jokes

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Der Geist in der Flasche One day a man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened it. A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. While walking along a beach A man was strolling along a beach in California. À Brest A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden En man är ute och promenerar på en strand i Kalifornien och funderar över livet när han helt plötsligt utbrister: - "Herre Een man wandelde op het strand en was in diep gebed verzonken. Plots zei hij luidop: "God Mies kulki yksinään rannalla ja löysi pullon lojumassa hiekassa. Hän kurkottui poimimaan pullon ja veti korkin ulos. Savupilven keskeltä tuli esiin henki. Henki kiitti nopeasti miestä vapaudestaan...
A man walking down the street trips over an old oil lamp. As he picks it up, a genie pops out and says, "I will grant you one wish."
The man says, "I want to live in a mansion in Hawaii, but I'm afraid of boats and planes, so I want there to be a bridge from here to there."
The genie sighs. "That's too much work. Sorry, can't make it happen."
The man says, "Fine, then I want to understand women."
The genie replies, "Would you like two lanes or four on that bridge?"
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What is six inches long with a head on it, that women like to вlоw?
MONEY.
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Q: Why did the blonde get pulled over by the police?
A: Her headlights weren't working, so she was flashing people.
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Two women, one from the north and one from the south, are seated next to one another on a plane.
"Where you flyin' to?" says the southern woman. The northern woman turns up her nose.
"Don't you know you should NEVER end a sentence with a preposition?" The southern woman thinks about this for a second.
"Where you flyin' to, вiтсh?"
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Q: Why was the 6'6" guy so brokenhearted after his 4'9" girlfriend dumped him?
A: He was nuts over her.
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Q: Why does a man's реnis have a hole in it?
A: So he can get oxygen to his brain.
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How do you keep a blonde at home?
Build a circular driveway.
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Q: What is a hоокеr in Alaska called?
A: A frostitute.
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Meкo и Тврдо Στο ασανσέρ Στο 202!!! Un homme se cogne contre une femme dans un hall d’hôtel. Приближавайки към рецепцията на престижен хотел в Benidorm В лифт вбегает мужчина и задевает локтем грудь стоящей рядом женщины. Пълен асансьор. Млъд мъж се качил Ein Mann rammt aus versehen in einem Hotel einer Dame seinen Ellbogen in die Brust. Er entschuldigt sich: В асансьор на хотел без да иска мъж удря с лакът в гърдите млада дама. - Ох Ao entrar num elevador A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk En ung sexig kille stod i hotell receptionen när hans telefon ringde. Hastigt drog han upp telefonen ur fickan och råkade då armbåga tjejen bakom honom. Då sa han med ett ursäktande leende: - Om... Paul stößt in der Hotelhalle versehentlich mit dem Ellenbogen an den Busen einer jungen Frau. Er entschuldigt sich mit den Worten: "Wenn Ihr Herz so zart ist wie Ihr Busen werden Sie mir sicherlich... En kille står i hotellobbyn och väntar på att få checka in. Då ringer hans mobil och när han plockar fram den råkar han köra armbågen i bröstet på tjejen intill. Han vänder sig om och säger: - Har... Een man komt een hotel binnen lopen en stoot daar per ongelijk met zijn elleboog op de borsten van een vrouw. “Mijn excuses Een man staat bij de receptie van het hotel. Hij wil juist de man bij de receptie een vraag stellen En el vestíbulo de un hotel Un uomo si scontra con una donna nella hall di un hotel e nell'urto finisce col gomito sul suo seno. Entrambi sono molto imbarazzati. L'uomo cerca di scusarsi e dice: - Signora Ketten állnak egy szálloda recepciójánál Mies törmää hotellin käytävällä vahingossa naiseen. Törmäyksessä miehen kyynärpää osuu naisen rintaan. - Jos sydämesi on yhtä pehmeä kuin rintasi Mann rempelt Frau an der Hotelrezeption an. Beide gucken etwas verstört. Mann: "Wenn Ihr Herz so weich ist wie Ihr Busen
A man in a hotel lobby accidentally bumps a woman in the вrеаsт with his elbow.
Quite apologetic, he turns to her and says "If your heart is as soft as your вrеаsт, you will surely forgive me."
She leans up to him and whispers "If your реnis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."
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Q: What do you call a blonde who eats too much?
A: Fат.
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What do you call a person who can sit on an ice cream and tell the flavor?
A sмаrтаss!
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в церковь заходит старик и обращается к священнику: - я бы хотел... приходит на исповедь пожилой человек. - отец мой Мъж влиза в църква и се насочва право към изповедалнята. Младеж се изповядва на свещеника: Старец влиза в изповедалнята и казва на свещеника: A guy goes into confession and says to the priest Ein Mann geht zur Beichte und sagt zum Priester: "Vater Un anciano entra a la iglesia Un hombre de 80 años entró en el confesionario y le dijo al sacerdote lo siguiente: "Padre A very old man went to a church На сповіді: — Пасторе A gyóntatófülkében egy öregember ezt mondja a papnak: - 92 éves vagyok. Csodás feleségem van Un anciano entra al confesionario y dice al cura: - Padre An elderly man walked into a confessional booth. The following conversation ensued: Man: “I am 82 years old O blonda la spovedanie: - Parinte am preacurvit. -De cite ori fica mea.......? - Parinte am venit sa ma spovedesc Kahdeksankymmentä ja kuolemavälillä oleva tutajava ukkeli käppäilee katoliseen kirkkoon tunnustamaan syntinsä: - Isä An old man bursts into a priest's study and says Yaşlı bir adam kiliseye girer ve günah çıkarma kabinine yerleşir. Pederle aralarında aşağıdaki konuşma geçer: Adam: “92 yasımdayım Um senhor de 60 anos entra no confissionário e vai falando pro padre: — Padre Um velho foi se confessar: — Padre Wchodzi staruszek do konfesjonału i nawija: - Mam 92 lata. Mam wspaniałą żonę Stařec vejde do zpovědnice: „Otče
An old man enters a confessional and proudly exclaims, "Father, I have to tell you what happened to me last night. I'm 90 years old, and I made love to two 18-year-old women for eight hours!"
The stern priest replies, "That is a sin. I will have to give you a penance."
"Father, you can't give me a penance."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm Jewish."
The perplexed Father asks, "Then why are you telling me?"
"I'm telling everyone!"
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Why are Iranians so smart?
Because none of them are blonde.
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I like a big вuтт, though.
I like a вuтт so big you can sit a clock radio and a drink on it.
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What did Santa say to the three blondes on the corner?
"Но. Но. Но."
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Q: How do you know who gives good вlоw jobs?
A: Word of mouth.
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Q: On an application form, what does a blonde put down for "sеx"?
A: "Lots."
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Q: How did a blonde get a job at a prestigious country club?
A: She told them she was good at handling members.
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