Military Jokes About The Army, And Air Force

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Do you have 11 protons? Cause your sodium fine.

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Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

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Just heard on the radio that apparently Colonel Sanders got the idea for KFC during WWI when he was raiding a German chicken farm using a flame thrower.

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“Sanderson, fire a warning shot.”
“Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher.”
“Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger.”

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I don’t like the word gun
Whenever I say it people always get triggered

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My doctor said “you have 1year to live”
I said " you wanna bet"
Bam a gun shot

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My girlfriend dumped me today apparently I don’t stand up for her in fights I don’t care she use to push me around all the time

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What is it called when Bill Cosby and a illegal immigrant fight?
Aliens vs. Predator

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Voting quarterfinal 3:
LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
DISLIKE: When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering but you walk toward his gun; “I will finish what you started.”
Vote for the better joke

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Things you never want to do in jail

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A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn’t need. Grenades, guns, ammo unless it was bolted down it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.
When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. “What’s so funny?”, he asks.
“Daddy farted and the house blew up,” said a singed little boy.

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A war isn’t about who is right, it’s about who is left!

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I’m telling my kids that in 2020 I survived world war 3, the zombie apocalypse, the invasion of the мurdеr hornets, and the second American revolution

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How did Нiтlеr tie is tiny little shoesies?
With tiny little Nazis.

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In normal country they have lemonade in soviet russia they have Leninade “refresh yourself with a cold war.”

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Commander:
"Fire a warning shot"
Soldier:
"Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher"
Commander:
"Potato, potato, just fire"
Soldier: fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school
Commander:
“They’re trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!”

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What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common

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Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades?
They’ll end up only throwing the pin.

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