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Вицове за Военни English Militärwitze Chistes militares Военные анекдоты Blagues militaires Barzellette sui Мilitari, Barz... Στρατιωτικά ανέκδοτα Воени вицеви Asker Fıkraları, Askerlik Fıkr... Анекдоти про армію, Анекдоти в... Piadas de caserna Dowcipy i kawały: Wojsko Militär skämt, Militärer Leger moppen Militæret vittigheder, Vittigh... Vitser om militæret Vitsit sotilaista Magyar Bancuri Militari, Bancuri Sold... Anekdoty a vtipy o vojácích a ... Anekdotai apie kariuomenę, Kar... Anekdotes par armiju, Armijā Ratni vicevi
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Military Jokes

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I'm confused... How come your instagram is private when your vаginа is public?
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A major hospital was doing research, looking into a possible correlation between vaginosis and hearing loss.
After contacting women who were treated at their obgyn clinic by phone, the patients were asked
- Have you experienced any hearing loss since the onset of your symptoms?
The number one response was
- Wwat's that? I c*nt hear you!
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Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
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“The majority of my diet is made up of foods that my kid didn’t finish.” Carrie Underwood
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United Airlines flight attendant:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, as you are all now painfully aware, our Captain has landed in Seattle. From all of us at United Airlines we'd like to thank you for flying with us today and please be very careful as you open the overhead bins as you may be killed by falling luggage that shifted during our so called "touch down."
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Q: Alexa, what do you want for Christmas?
A: To watch Die Hard with Captain Picard would be a dream.
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Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
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What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say “are you ready kids?”
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We were so poor when I was growing up that all my clothes came from the army and navy store'...you will never know how embarrassing it was going to school dressed as a Korean admiral.
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An airplane takes off from the airport. The captain is Jewish and the first officer is Korean. It's the first time they've flown together and it's obvious by the silence that they don't get along. After thirty minutes, the Jewish Captain speaks, "I don't like Chinese."
The First Officer replies, " Ooooh, no like Chinese? Why ees that?"
The Captain says, "You bombed Pearl Harbor. That's why I don't like Chinese."
The F.O. says, "Nooooo, noooo... Chinese not bomb Pearl Harbah. That Japanese, not Chinese. And besides, I'm not Chinese or Japanese, I'm Korean!""
And the Captain answers, "Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese... it doesn't matter, they're all alike." Another thirty minutes of silence.
Finally the F.O. says, "No like Jew." The Captain replies, "Why not? Why don't you like Jews?"
F.O. says, "Jews sink Titanic."
The Captain tries to correct him, "No, no. The Jews didn't sink the Titanic. It was an iceberg."
The F.O. replies," Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg, no mattah. All same."
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Where might you find Dumbledore’s Army?
Up his sleeve-y!
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Имам приятел
I’ve got a friend who’s a female private investigator. Or gynaecologist, as he likes to be called.
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Chuck Norris was shot with a gun. The bullet was critically injured.
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What’s the similarity between a bag of сhiрs and a gun?
When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.
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My Grandfather never threw anything away, bless him
He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade
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Why are white teenagers the best for the army? They are good at shooting things up.
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Why is the military so strict about their uniforms?
To minimize casual tees...
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The American military should really be worried...
Russian technology is a decade ahead of them at the moment.
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