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“I lift weights only on Saturday and Sunday because Monday to Friday are weak days.”
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Два домата
Gehen 2 Tomaten über die Straße. Plötzlich kommt ein Auto. Da sagt die eine Tomate zur anderen: "Komm Ketchup
Deux tomates traversent la rue
Era una vez un tomatito y una tomatita y iban caminando por la calle. Venía pasando un carro y atropelló al tomatito. La tomatita le preguntó al tomatito: ¿Qué te hicieron? Y dice el tomatito: Ketchup
Kaksi tomaattia kävelee tiellä. Toinen jää auton alle ja ehjänä säilynyt ilkkuu: “Mitä ketsuppi?”
Jdou tři rajčata
Iban pasando por la calle dos tomatitos y atropellan a uno y el otro le dice que te hicieron catsup
Idą dwa pomidory przez jezdnię. Jednego przejechało
Det var en gång två tomater som var ute och gick. Dem skulle gå över en väg då det kom en bil körande. Den ena tomaten blev överkörd. Då så sa den andra tomaten: - Kom nu ketchup så går vi.
En gång när 2 st tomater skulle gå över vägen så blev ena överkörd av en bil. Då sa den andre. - Kom nu ketchup!
Två tomater gick över gatan
¿ Sabes como estornudan los tomates? Ketchup
Bija divi lielie tomāti un viens tomātiņš Viņi gāja pāri ielai un Mazo tomātiņu nobrauca un Tonātiņa mamma teica pasteidzies kečupiņ!
Kaksi tomaattia käveli suojatien yli
Idu dvije rajcice ulicom jednu zgazi auto
2 Rajčice Hodaju Po Cesti Jednu Zgazi Auto. Druga Kaže Ketchup!
C'est deux tomates qui veulent traverser une route. La première passe mais la deuxième se fait écraser. La tomate qui est passée dit a l'autre : « Tu viens Ketchup? »
There were three tomatoes: a mum
A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, "Ketchup!"
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Two psychiatrists were walking down a hall.
One turned to the other and said, "Hello."
The other one thought, "I wonder what he meant by that."
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"I'm sorry, Bill," said the doctor, "there's simply nothing I can do for you. Your condition is hereditary."
"Oh," replied Bill, "in that case just send the bill to my parents."
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When her husband returns home at two in the morning, the wife confronts him.
"I told you two beers and home by ten o’clock!"
The man replies, "I'm sorry honey, I must have gotten the two numbers mixed up."
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Did you hear about the ancient Egyptian man that launched a successful stone quarry business?
Turns out it was a pyramid scheme all along.
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A donkey had an IQ of 186. He had no friends at all though...
Because even in the animal kingdom, nobody likes a smart-аss!
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There's an interesting new novel about two ex-convicts.
One of them studies to become a lawyer, the other decides to go straight.
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Q: What is a parrot's favorite game?
A: Hide and Speak!
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I think the girl at the Airlines check-in just threatened me.
She looked me dead in the eye and said, “Window or aisle?”
I laughed in her face and replied, “Window or you’ll what?”
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That look on your face when you realize it's a Friday!
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Chuck Norris can speak Russian... In Chinese.
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A Dublin lawyer died in poverty, and many people donated to a fund for his funeral. The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling.
"Only a shilling?" said the Justice, "Only a shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea; go and bury twenty more of them."
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Учителят пита: "- Какво е най-смелото нещо
A teacher asked her class to write on "What's the bravest thing your dad has done?"
A student wrote... "My dad married my mom."
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A blonde walks into a restaurant to get some lunch, and while she's deciding on what she wants a waitress comes up. The blonde looks up and notices the waitress's name tag on her shirt...
"Gee, that's nice. What did you name the other one?"
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I have one cup of coffee every morning to start the day off right...
The other ones are to keep me out of jail, help me form sentences, and fuel my razor sharp wit!
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A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad because all the cars were leaving.
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Boss - Do you think you can come in on Saturday? I know you enjoy your weekends but I need you here.
Me - Yeah, no problem. I'll probably be late though as public transport on weekends is slow.
Boss - What time will you get here?
Me - Monday.
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