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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Father: "Why did you fail your mathematics test?"
Son: "On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8."
Father: "So?"
Son: "On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8... If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?"
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THE DA VINCI CODE (abridged version for blondes)
There is no greater mystic power
Than the scent that rises from a woman's flower
But its glory quickly fades away
Be wise, young ladies - and seize the day!
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"Armstrong," the boss said, "I happen to know that the reason you didn't come to work yesterday was that you were out playing golf."
"That's a rotten lie!" Armstrong protested. "And I have the fish to prove it!"
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Curiosity killed the cat. Chuck Norris killed Curiosity.
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Игнорирање
Next !
Ο επόμενος
Όλοι τον αγνοούν
Γιατρέ
Един влиза при психиатър.
"Guten Tag
Patient: „Herr Doktor
Der Patient zu seinem Psychiater: "Was soll ich nur tun? Alle Menschen ignorieren mich!" Darauf der Arzt: "Der Nächste bitte!"
Patient: "Herr Doktor
Doktorn! Ingen vill prata med mig - Nästa!
Ein Patient sagt zum Psychologen: „Mit mir will keiner reden!“ Der Psychologe: „Der Nächste bitte!“
"Doktor
Przychodzi baba do lekarza i mówi: - Panie doktorze wszyscy mnie ignorują. - Następny prosze.
Un hombre entra en la consulta del médico: - Doctor
– Doktor
— Лікарю
Patienten kommer in på doktorns mottagning: – Doktorn
- Domnule doctor
Llega un señor al doctor y le dice: Señor
Det er
Le dice un paciente al doctor Tilla: - Doctor
- Doktor
Докторе има еден проблем
- Docture
Patient comes to the doctor. Doctor: So
"Dottore dottore tutti mi ignorano" E il dottore: "Avanti il prossimo"
Komt er een vrouw bij de dokter "dokter
- Doktor úr
Daktare mane visi ignoruoja. - Sekantis !
A man goes to the doctor and says,
"Doc, everybody ignores me..."
And the doctor says,
"Next please..."
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You cannot correct an old person every time they say something offensive. You would never make it through Thanksgiving dinner!
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"After Thanksgiving dinner, I was as stuffed as a turkey!"
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Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?
Nurse: No change yet.
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Q: Dans quoi étiez-vous au moment de l'impact ? R : Un sweat-shirt Gucci et des Reeboks.
Policeman to Blonde: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
Blonde: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
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Confusing Blonde
Δωμάτιο
Comment occupé une blonde pendant une heure? Il suffit simplement de lui demandé de chercher des coins dans une pièce ronde
Wie kann man eine blondine in den wahnsinn treiben man bringt sie in ein zimmer das nur runde ecken hat und sagt in der ecke ist ein hunderter schein
¿Sabes cómo puedes mantener a un atlante en movimiento todo el día? Lo metes en un cuarto redondo y le dices que se siente en la esquina.
To confuse a blonde, stick her in a round room and tell herthere is a M&M in the corner.
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Q: Why didn't the blonde drive her SUV to the cleaners?Because the commercial said, "This car won't take you to thecleaners."
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I'm already planning to be an аsshоlе on Monday!
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Bob Geldof ... no wonder he's such an expert on famine, he has been dining out on I Don't Like Mondays for thirty years.
Russell Brand
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"To do is to be..." -- Descartes.
"To be is to do..." -- Sartre.
"Do be do be do..." – Sinatra!
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What tree is thriving in this depressed economy? The weeping will owe.
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A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting.
The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver--"PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "SCARF!"
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Lawyer: "Is it a сriме to throw sodium in your enemy's eyes?"
Judge: "Yes, that's аssаulт."
Lawyer: "I know it's a salt but is it a сriме?"
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