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“I knew a chemist who use to periodically build tables.”
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Speaking to her two daughters, a mother said,
"When we get home you need to clean your bedrooms. Your grandmother is coming to visit us tonight and I want the whole house to look tidy."
The younger daughter answered, "We will, Mommy. But isn't that kind of like, lying?"
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What does the Easter Bunny get for making a basket?
Two points, just like everyone else!
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(do this on your calculator.) one day there was a Blonde who thought her воовs were 2 2 big so she went to 37th street to building number 8 and talked to Dr. double 00. She left building number eight to find she was boobless. ( turn calculator upside down to see boobless)
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“A dentist in a court trial was оrаlly examined and re-examined by the defence lawyer ruthlessly, to extract the truth.”
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A man was out walking a dog, and a woman stopped to admirethe animal.
"What's your dog's name?" she asked.
"Неrреs," replied the dog's owner.
"How.... Odd," said the woman. "Why Неrреs?"
"Because he won't heel."
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A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam; then I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor replies:
"It's very simple. You're two tents."
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“A cannonball is a party for artillerymen.”
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All the British fans start singing to the German fans, If you won the war, stand up! Right, I think this is the greatest thing Ive ever heard at a sporting event because theres no snappy comeback for that, is there?
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A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.
The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face.
The egg is frowning and looking a bit рissеd off.
The egg mutters, to no one in particular, "Well, I guess we answered THAT question!"
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I think Employee of the Month is a good example of when a person can be a winner and a loser at the same time.
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Why did the blonde take his new scarf back to the store? It was too tight
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Chuck Norris spendet Blut
Chuck Norris donne fréquemment du sang à la Croix-Rouge. Mais jamais le sien.
When Chuck Norris donates blood
Chuck Norris skänker regelbundet blod
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
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TIL Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate halloween...I guess they don't appreciate random people knocking on their doors
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When do Japanese warriors yell ‘Bonsai!'?
When they send in the infant tree.
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December is the month when the kids begin to discuss what to get Dad for Christmas.
Some insist on a shirt.
Others insist on a pair of socks.
The argument always ends in a tie.
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Чужденец лети с български самолет.
Летит американец на самолёте российской авиакомпании. Подходит к нему стюардесса и спрашивает:
Американски турист лети с руските авиолинии. Стюардесата пита:
Num avião a comissária de bordo pergunta:
It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.
Leci Amerykanin polskimi liniami lotniczymi. Podchodzi do niego miła stewardessa i pyta: - Życzy Pan sobie obiad? - A co jest do wyboru? - Tak lub nie.
Uma aeromoça loira chegou para um passageiro e pergunta: — O senhor quer jantar? E o passageiro: — Quais são as opções? Ao que a aeromoça loira responde: — Sim ou não!
A flight attendant asks a man: - Sir
a aeromoça esta servindo a janta no avião e diz ao cliente: -o senhor vai querer jantar? ele responde: -quais são as opções? ela diz: -sim ou não né deeeeeeeeerrrrrr.
E a aeromoça loira pergunta pro passageiro: — Aceita jantar? — Quais são as opções? — Sim... ou ... não!
Stewardess az utashoz: - Uram
Stewardesa către un călător: - Doriţi cina? - Ce pot să aleg? - Da sau nu.
Amerikietis skrenda “Aerofloto” lėktuvu. Prieina stiuardesė: - Ar norite pusryčių? - O koks pasirinkimas? - Taip
It was mealtime during a flight on Blonde Airlines.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
"What are my choices?" John asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.
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Добивка
Кафанската пејачка и автоматот за кафе
Blonde Luck
The soda machine
Ρέντα...
Αυτόματο καφέ
Борец се застоява пред кафе-машина.
στο μηχάνημα του καφέ
Ein Österreicher kommt zu einem Coca Cola Automaten und wirft eine Münze ein. Die Maschine spuckt ein Coca Cola aus.
Un atlante se encuentra en un casino de Las Vegas frente a una máquina de sodas. El Atlante introduce unas monedas
Steht ein Mann vor einem Brötchenautomat und zieht sich die ganze Zeit Brötchen. Da kommt ein anderer vorbei und sagt: "Hör auf damit
C'est un Belge qui marche dans la rue. Il passe devant un distributeur de boissons et s'arrête
Sune står vid en smörgåsautomat och stoppar i krona efter krona. Kön växer bakom honom och när han plockar upp ut sin elfte smörgås säger en uppretad herre: - Hörru du är det inte dags att sluta...
A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a Coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and of course...
Stoi blondynka przed automatem do coca coli
O português chegou na máquina de refrigerantes
Era una rubia que llega al casino por primera vez y lo primero que ve es una máquina de coca-cola donde un señor pone una moneda de un euro
Un Belge met des pièces dans un distributeur de boissons. Pour avoir des bouteilles de Coca-Cola. Une queue s'est formé derrière lui et on lui demande s'il a bientôt terminé. Il répond: - Tant que...
Przed automatem z wodą sodową stoi blondynka. Wrzuca monetę
A blonde goes to a soda machine.
She puts in a dollar and gets a soda.
She does this again and again.
A man in line behind her asks why she is taking so long.
She says, "Can't you see I'm winning?"
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