One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

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Chuck Norris once won a drag race with a unicycle.

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Q: What kind of candy do Indians give out on Halloween?
A: Dots.

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Despite popular belief, there is no such thing as a tornado.
Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.

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Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.

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Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.

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Chuck Norris once pushed a door that said,"pull."

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Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares his grass to grow.

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The US government is throwing away millions of unused stamps with pictures of favorite lawyers on them.
The people that use them don’t know which side to spit on!

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Why don't blondes have elevator jobs? They don't know the route.

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Chck Norris listens to "Requiem for a Tower" when he eats waffles.

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Rabbi 1: We've got to do something. Many of the young people in our synagogue are converting to the Quaker faith.
Rabbi 2: I've noticed that too. In fact, some of my best Jews are Friends!

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Know what I would like to do? Id travel back to when my mom and dad had sеx to have me. And Id just run into the bedroom, right when theyre doing it, and just spank my dad on the аss: Im your son from the future!

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Chuck Norris doesn't brush his teeth, he scares the plaque off each morning by snarling in the mirror.

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I was actually thinking about buying a convertible... But then I thought, what if I was at a stoplight -- how would I avoid the homeless guy?

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In the back of the Guinness Book of World Records it states "All records are currently held by Chuck Norris, and the records listed in this book are only the records of those people who have come closest to Chuck Norris' records."

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Chuck Norris can win tic-tac-toe in one move.

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He: Why did you put on these high-heel shoes? It seems so inconvenient for you to walk.
She: I thought you liked tall girls.
He: I like clever girls.
She: That's why I've put on the glasses...

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Why dont women have crazy men stories? I dont really hear them. And then I realized, its because if you got a crazy boyfriend, youre going to die. Just something about men, the second they realize theyre crazy, its like, Time to кill everything I love.

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