One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

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Do you know what always catches my eye? Short people with umbrellas

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Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards.
Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.

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Chuck Norris once gave a box of his old watches to a group of kids.
These kids are now known as the power rangers.

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Patient: Doctor, I have a tendency to gain weight in certain places. What would you recommend?
Doctor: Stay out of those places!

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So I was in the chemist lab and I said to the assistant, “What gets rid of germs?”
She said,
"Ammonia cleaner."
I said,
"Oh sorry, I thought you worked here...”

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“Dispensed means to change from pounds to dollars.”

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Female court jesters in the Middle Ages often suffered from minstrel cramps.

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Lawyers in the produce industry have a turnip-client privilege. So do the advocados.

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Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.

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The teenage son was having trouble mastering the fine points of balancing his new checking account.
"The bank returned the check you wrote to the sporting goods store," his mother said.
"Oh good," he replied, "Now I can use it to buy some stereo equipment!"

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Guesse what?....... chicken butt

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Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

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Chuck Norris does the Sunday New York Times Crossword Puzzle in ink.

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Im watching some television tonight. Im watching The Discovery Channel. You know, this channel, you never ever plan on watching this. It just happens. Youre flickin around, all of a sudden -- boom -- youre watching a mole for an hour-and-a-half.

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A group of working men and women were enjoying happy hour ata local bar. One of them asked what time others went to bedon work nights. A blonde piped up from the end of the bar and said "Well, ifI'm not in bed by ten o'clock, I just go home."

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Why did the blonde freeze to death at the drive-in?
She went to see "Closed for the season."

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A man taunted Chuck Norris by holding a bag of Lays potato сhiрs in front of him and saying "Betcha can't just one!" Chuck Norris subsequently ate the сhiрs, the bag, and the man whole.

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Bungee jumping is an expensive sport. There's no such thing as a free lunge.

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