One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

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Chuck Norris does the Sunday New York Times Crossword Puzzle in ink.

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Im watching some television tonight. Im watching The Discovery Channel. You know, this channel, you never ever plan on watching this. It just happens. Youre flickin around, all of a sudden -- boom -- youre watching a mole for an hour-and-a-half.

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A group of working men and women were enjoying happy hour ata local bar. One of them asked what time others went to bedon work nights. A blonde piped up from the end of the bar and said "Well, ifI'm not in bed by ten o'clock, I just go home."

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A man taunted Chuck Norris by holding a bag of Lays potato сhiрs in front of him and saying "Betcha can't just one!" Chuck Norris subsequently ate the сhiрs, the bag, and the man whole.

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Bungee jumping is an expensive sport. There's no such thing as a free lunge.

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Phoenix is so dry because it's in an arid zone-a.

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Call me a pervert, but I once enjoyed watching a chickpea. Does that make me hummus sеxuаl?

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At a local gun show two guys were bragging about their wife's abilities.
"My wife's a fine shot. She can hit a dollar every time."
"That's nothing. My wife goes through my trousers and never misses a dime."

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Was Thoreau a hermit?

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If you sketched of all my worst qualities, it would make quite a poor trait.

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I went on a hard core drinking and smoking binge, and it lasted right about nine months. And then, as soon as I was born, I was like, Whew! Do not go in there.

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Somebody punctuated me in the face, and I ended up in a comma.

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“If you do anything that puts your doctor's health at jeopardy, the Dr. Seuss you.”

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Having a gun, lets face it guys, is a lot like having a реnis, I think. You got to keep it concealed. And if you wave it in a womans face, chances are shell call the cops.

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The priest left for dead in the church fire was said to have parished.

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A man who wins a poker tournament has yet to reach the pinochle of achievement.

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I wanted to be an оrgаn donor, but the doctors never de-livered.

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If you worship a bag, it's sack religious.

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