One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular

Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Нiтlеr, Atilla the Нun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice.

24

0

Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.

24

0

A man walked into a bar, leading an alligator by a leash. He asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?"
"Sure do," said the bartender. "Good," replied the man. "Give me a вееr, and I'll have a lawyer for my 'gator."

24

0

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

24

0

Usually when kids go to sleep they sleep with a teddy bear...
Chuck Norris sleeps with an actual bear

24

0

Wouldn't exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?

24

0

Thirty ways to shape up for summer -- number one: eat less; number two: exercise more; number three... What was I talking about? Im so hungry right now.

24

0

My other big obituary fear is, when I die, theyll have my picture, and they always have underneath it, in quotes, He loved to laugh. Oh, he loved to laugh. Well, that doesnt tell you anything. Everybody loves to laugh -- youre laughing! Thats like saying, He hungered for food.

24

0

President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time.

24

0

In a tagteam match, Chuck Norris was teamed with Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy and Andre The Giant. He pinned all 3 at the same time.

24

0

As President Roosevelt said:
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."

24

0

Most people put their pants on one leg at a time, Chuck Norris does both legs at once.

24

0

Chuck Norris can make snow angels on a concrete slab.

24

0

Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion , now Neo is "The Two."

24

0

Every girl either has blonde hair with black streaks or black hair with blonde streaks. Which, either way, says: I dont have a gag reflex.

24

0

I didn't make it to the gym today...
That makes 1,523 days in a row I didn't go!

24

0

A blonde goes to a store's deodorant display and tells the clerk, "I need to buy some deodorant for my husband."
"Does he use the ball kind?" inquired the clerk. "No," replied the blonde, "The kind for under his arms."

24

0

In 1945, Adolf Нiтlеr was really kicked to death by a five year old Chuck Norris.

24

0