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Have you heard about the new "Mint flavored birth control pill" for women that they take immediately before sеx?
They're called "Predickamints".
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A man was involved in an auto accident. A policeman ran up to the car and asked, "Are you seriously injured?" The man said, "How should I know? I'm a doctor not a lawyer."
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Some guy called me a тооl. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
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The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
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Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes the police! Come out with your hands up!
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A man visiting a graveyard saw a tombstone that read: "Here lies John Smith, a lawyer and an honest man."
- How about that! he exclaimed. They've got three people buried in one grave.
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Chuck Norris has only one friend on Facebook: Pain.
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Q: Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? A: The outside, of course.
Q: Why did the turkey get in trouble at school? A: He was cornu-copying.
Q: What smells the best during Thanksgiving dinner? A: Your nose.
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What did the skeleton say to the vampire?
You suск.What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Sham-boo!What kind of instrument do you play on Halloween?
A Sроок-ulele.What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room? A Spoo-keyWhy do skeletons have low self-esteem?
They have no body to love.How do vampires get around on Halloween?
In blood vesselsWhat did the teenage witch ask her mother on Halloween?
Can i have the keys to the broom tonight.
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A blonde goes to the doctor's and find out she is pregnant with twins. She starts crying and the doctor asks her what's wrong. She replies,
"I know who the dad is for one of them but I don't know who the dad is for the other one!"
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After discussing the “food chain” with my fifth grade class, I told them their weekend homework was to write a sentence showing they understood the meaning of the term. On Monday morning, one student handed this in:
“Burger King is my favorite food chain.”
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The best relationship I ever had -- I used to go out with a homeless girl. Yeah, it was great cause after sеx, I could just drop her off anywhere.
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Your lips are so chapped, I can hear you smile.
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“My lawyer wants to represent Santa. He says if there is a Claus he will find a way to make money from it.”
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“Fearsome is a phobia about addition.”
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“When the Army barracks bathroom is in use, it's usually by the loo tenant.”
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Мртва птица
Watch the Birdie
Eine Brünette und eine Blondine
Το πεθαμένο πουλάκι
Блондинка и брюнетка се разхождат в парка.
Ein Ostfriese ist in Bayern im Urlaub.
Идут 2 блондинки. Одна и говорит:
Una pareja de gallegos caminaba por la playa y en eso que le dice el hombre a su mujer:
One day
Eine Brünette und eine Blondine gehen durch einen Park. Plötzlich sagt die Brünette: "Kuck mal
Uma morena e uma loira estavam passeando. A morena disse: - Veja
C'est une brune qui dit à une blonde : "Ho
Idą dwie blondynki przez park. Jedna mówi do drugiej: - Patrz
En brunette och en blondin var ute och promenerade när brunetten plötsligt utbrister: - åhhh
Ce sont deux amis
Un lepero le dice a otro: Oye Paco... mira mira
Une brune et une blonde se balade en ville.Soudain la brune crie : - AAAAH UN PIGEON MORT !!!! La blonde regarde dans le ciel et dis : - OU ÇA
Dos atlantes se encuentran en la playa y uno de ellos le dice al otro: - Mira
Deux blondes se promènent en forêt. L'une dit : "Oh
Op straat loopt een dom blondje en een brunette. De brunette roept: “Kijk een dood vogeltje!” Waarop het domme blondje omhoog kijkt en zegt: “Waar dan?”
En brunette og en blondine kommer gående
Det var en gang to svensker som gikk på en vei så sa den ene: Titta
En blondine og en brunette går en tur i parken. Pludselig siger brunetten: Ad! Prøv at se på den døde fugl! – Blondinen stopper
Det var en gang ei blondine og en brunette som gikk seg en tur
Uma loira e uma morena
Come si misura l’intelligenza di una bionda ? Le si infila un manometro in un orecchio. Perche’ la bionda ha attraversato la strada ?- Dimenticati la strada…. cosa stava facendo fuori dalla...
Iemand zegt tegen een Limburger: "Kijk daar een dode vogel!" Waarop de Limburger naar de lucht kijkt en vraagt: "Waar dan?"
O blonda si o bruneta se plimbau in parcul Cismigiu. Bruneta : - Uite o pasare moarta! La care blonda
To blondiner går tur på stranden. Pludselig siger den ene: "Guuuud
Blondi ja brunette kävelevät puistossa. - Katso! Kuollut lintu! sanoo brunette Blondi katsoo ylös ja kysyy: - Missä?
O bruneta se adreseaza unei blonde: - Uite
Deux blonde se promènent
A brunette says to a blonde "Look! A dead bird!" and the blonde looks up and says "Where?"
Ei brunette og ei blondine var ute og gikk en tur i parken sammen. Plutselig ser brunetten en død fugl på bakken og sier "å se på den stakkars døde fuglen". Blondinen kikker opp i lufta og sier...
Une blonde se promène avec une amie. Soudain
Une blonde et son amie(qui n'est pas blonde) se promènent dans un parc. Plus tard son amie dit : - «Regarde un oiseau mort!» Et la blonde lui répond en levant sa tête : - «Où ça»
Død fugl En blondine og hendes kæreste var ude og gå en tur. Pludselig udbryder manden: - Ad
Blondinen og brunetten En blondine og en brunette kom gående.... Lige pludselig siger brunetten: "SE! der ligger en død fugl" . Blondinen kigger op i himlen og siger: "Hvor
Brunetka i blondynka idą przez park. Brunetka nagle mówi: "Och
O blonda si o Bruneta stau pe o banca in parc. - Uite o Pasare moarta
Birgün dagda Temel ile Cemal yürürken Temel Cemal’e derki: - "Yahu Cemal paksana
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park one morning.
Suddenly, the brunette notices a dead bird. "Awww, look at the dead birdie," she says sadly.
The blonde stops, looks up into the sky, and says,
"Where? Where?"
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Doctor: Have you ever had this before?
Patient: Yes.
Doctor: Well, you've got it again!
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