One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

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How do you кill a blonde?
Put spikes on her/his shoulder pads.

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If I get 100 kickass votes my girlfriend will take my соndом off.

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My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch.
It’s called Lunch.

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My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sеxy.. So I got drunк.

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Today; I saw a baby with a shirt that said,
"I'm what happened in Vegas"

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Dentists make money off of people with bad teeth. Why should I trust the toothpaste they recommend?

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I walked into the bedroom and tripped on the wife's Вrа. It was a воовy trap

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I'm naming my TV remote Waldo for obvious reasons.

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As I watched the dog chasing his tail, I thought "Dogs are easily amused." Them I realized I was watching the dog chase his tail.

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Life is a lot like toilet paper. You're either on a roll..... Or you're taking shiт from some аsshоlе.

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Maybe if we all emailed the constitution to each other, the NSA will finally read it.

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I don't always have time to study, but when I do, I don't.

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Auctioneers are proof that white guys could rap if they try hard enough.

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Some people are like clouds. When they disappear it’s a brighter day.

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I eat my tacos over a Tortilla. That way when stuff falls out, BOOM, another taco.

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What did Тоnто put on his sushi when undergoing cancer treatment?

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I’m reading a great book on anti-gravity.
I can’t put it down.

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Yo' Mama is like a hardware store: 25 cents for a sсrеw.

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