One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

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I'm off to Club Bed featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

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Serving size: 4 Yeah... all 4 me.

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This vоdка tastes a lot like I'm not going into work tomorrow.

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When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye

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Can fат people go skinny dipping??

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I wonder how much a zebra would cost if you scanned it.

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When I seen a nun in a wheelchair one thought came to mind. Virgin mobile.

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"When I'm feeling lonely I don't shave one of my legs so it feels like I'm sleeping next to a man."

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I gotta go to work today cause millions of people on welfare depend on me.

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I hate long lines, unless it's сосаinе.
In that case, I love long lines.

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Sometimes I text and drive. I know it's dangerous, but I do sтuрid things when I'm drunк.

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If the government shuts down then nothing will get done... just like before.

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I have so much debt, I can start a government.

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If you get offended by the jokes and comments on here, go ahead and blame your parents... for raising a рussy.

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The awkward moment when you're ваnging your chick doggie style and can't help but notice the вuтт hole lint.

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I am so intuned with women that I can read her emotions just by lookin at her hands. For example..... if she's holding a gun she chances are she might be upset.

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When the zombie apocalypse finally happens, I'm moving to Washington D. C. I figure the lack of brains there will keep the undead masses away.

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Bumper sticker:
"Last Christmas I got a new rifle for my wife. Good trade, don't you think?"

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