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Картинки за родители English Eltern-Witze, Elternwitze, Elt... Chistes sobre padres Смешные анекдоты про родителей Blagues sur les parents Barzellette Genitori e Figli Αστεία για γονείς Вицови за родители Ebeveyn Fıkraları Приколи про батьків і дітей Piadas para pais Dowcipy i Kawały o rodzicach Skämt om föräldrar Moppen voor ouders Vittigheder om forældre Vitser for foreldre Vitsit vanhemmista Viccek a szülőkről Glume despre părinți Vtipy o rodičích Juokai apie tėvus Joki par vecākiem Vicevi o roditeljima
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Parent Jokes

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Жена отива на гости на родителите на нейния приятел. A young man presents his fiancée to his parent. At the table
A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty little fаrт. It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the роот. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the women's feet, and said in a rather stern voice,
"Gingеr!"
The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face. A couple minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fаrт rip. The father again looked at the dog and yelled,
"Dаммiт, Gingеr!" Once again the woman smiled and thought,
"Yes!"
A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let rip a fаrт that rivaled a train whistle blowing. Again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled,
"Dаммiт, Gingеr, get away from her before she shiтs on you!"
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Син за пример Две жени разговарят: O pai bêbado orgulhoso diz para o amigo: — Eu tenho o filho que todo pai quer ter. O amigo desconfiado pergunta: — Hum
- I have the perfect son.
- Does he smoke?
- No, he doesn’t.
- Does he drink whiskey?
- No, he doesn’t.
- Does he ever come home late?
- No, he doesn’t.
- I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
- He will be six months old next Wednesday.
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Мразя да лъжа родителите си
I hate lying to my parents, but it is for their own good
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A programmer: What people think i do,  what my parents think i o, what i think i do, what i really do
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My dad. My dad from his childhood stories
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When your 2000 year old daughter is finally getting married and moving out of the house
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Ritka
Rare snapshot of Chuck Norris arriving to Kindergarden after dropping off his parents at work.
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Son: I'm going on a date. Dad: Do you need any money? Son: No he'll pay
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Bro, I think you should play the role of my father. I don't want to be your father. That's perfect.	You already know your lines.
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- My child will not eat fish, what can I replace it with?
- A cat. Cats love fish.
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J'ai pris une photo de mon fils recevant un prix avec sa prof. Горд баща снима сина си докато получава награда от своята учителка - Papi Ojciec zrobił zdjęcie synowi gdy ten odbierał dyplom z rąk nauczycielki. Отец сфотографировал сына который получает диплом из рук своей учительницы.
I took a picture of my son getting an award from his teacher
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Най-лошият съвет
Worst advice I was ever given as a kid was
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You think eggs are expensive... Wait until you fertilize one
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If I have twin daughters, I'll name one Kate.
And I'll name the other DupliKate.
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- Госпожо - Madame
- Madam, I think your teenager is possessed. - No, I just confiscated her cell phone.
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Дъщеря ми взе колата ми снощи и я повреди сериозно Mia figlia ha preso la mia macchina e l'ha gravemente danneggiata così la regalo...se qualcuno la vuole ha 23 anni Ќерка ми ја зеде колата синоќа и ја оштети сериозно Mi hija tomó mi coche anoche y lo dañó seriamente Моя дочь взяла мою машину прошлой ночью и сильно её повредила Meine Tochter hat letzte Nacht mein Auto genommen und es schwer beschädigt Ma fille a pris ma voiture hier soir et l’a sérieusement endommagée Η κόρη μου πήρε το αυτοκίνητό μου χθες το βράδυ και το κατέστρεψε σοβαρά Kızım dün gece arabamı aldı ve ciddi şekilde hasar verdi Моя дочка взяла мою машину вчора ввечері і серйозно її пошкодила Minha filha pegou meu carro ontem à noite e o danificou seriamente Moja córka wzięła mój samochód zeszłej nocy i poważnie go uszkodziła Min dotter tog min bil i går kväll och skadade den allvarligt Mijn dochter heeft gisteravond mijn auto genomen en die ernstig beschadigd Min datter tog min bil i går aftes og beskadigede den alvorligt Datteren min tok bilen min i går kveld og skadet den alvorlig Tyttäreni otti autoni viime yönä ja vaurioitti sitä vakavasti A lányom tegnap este elvitte az autómat és súlyosan megrongálta Fiica mea a luat mașina mea aseară și a avariat-o grav Moje dcera si včera večer vzala moje auto a vážně hо poškodila Mano dukra vakar vakare pasiėmė mano automobilį ir rimtai jį apgadino Mana meita vakar vakarā paņēma manu automašīnu un to nopietni sabojāja Kći mi je sinoć uzela auto i ozbiljno ga oštetila
My daughter took my car and badly damaged it so I'm giving it away...if anyone wants it she's 23, brown eyes, dark hair....
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Да станеш родител: Онзи момент Devenir parents : Ce moment ou il devient tout à fait normal de renifler le cul d'un autre etre humain.
Becoming parents: That moment when it becomes completely normal to sniff another human being's аss.
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Когато майка ти е по-красива от теб... Кога мајка ти е поубава од тебе... Cuando tu madre es más atractiva que tú... Когда твоя мама сексуальнее тебя... Wenn deine Mutter sexier ist als du... Quand ta mère est plus sеxy que toi... Όταν η μητέρα σου είναι πιο σέξι από εσένα... Quando tua madre è più sеxy di te... Annen senden daha çekici olduğunda... Коли твоя мама привабливіша за тебе... Quando a tua mãe é mais sеxy do que tu... Kiedy twoja mama jest atrakcyjniejsza od ciebie... När din mamma är snyggare än du... Als je moeder knapper is dan jij... Når din mor er mere sexet end dig... Når moren din er mer sеxy enn deg... Kun äitisi on seksikkäämpi kuin sinä... Amikor az anyád vonzóbb nálad... Când mama ta e mai sеxy decât tine... Když je tvoje máma přitažlivější než ty... Kai tavo mama yra patrauklesnė už tave... Kad tava mamma ir pievilcīgāka par tevi... Kad ti je majka zgodnija od tebe...
When your mom is hotter than you...
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