School jokes, Teacher Jokes
Student: "Sir, can I ask a question?"
Teacher: "Yes!"
Student: "How do you put an elephant inside a fridge?"
Teacher: "I don't know."
Student: "It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in. I have another question!"
Teacher: "Ok, ask."
Student: "How to put a donkey inside the fridge?"
Teacher: "It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in."
Student: "No sir, You just open the fridge take out the elephant and put it in."
Teacher: "Ooh...ok!!"
Student: "Let me ask another one. If all the animals went to the lion's birthday party, and one animal went missing which one would it be?"
Teacher: "The lion of course! Because it wud eat all the animals."
Student: "No sir, it is the donkey becoz it's still inside the fridge."
Teacher: "Are you kidding me?"
Student: "No sir, 1 last question."
Teacher: "Ok!"
Student: "If there's a river full of crocodiles and you wanted to cross, how would you?"
Teacher: "There's no way, I would need a boat to cross."
Student: "No sir, you just swim and cross it because all the animals went to the lion's birthday party..."
Teacher: "I have my own question, if all the students come to school except one person, who is the person..."
Student: "No idea sir..."
Teacher: "It's you because you are on two weeks suspension."
The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over.
20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my вееr.
19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
18. Aren't you the guy from the villiage people?
17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.
16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
14. Bad cop. No donut.
13. You're not going to check the trunk, are you?
12. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
11. Didn't I see you get your вuтт kicked on Cops?
10. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
9. I pay your salary
8. So uh, you on the take or what?
7. Gee officer, that's terrific.
The last officer only gave me a warning.
6. Do you know why you pulled me over?
Okay, just so one of us does.
5. I was trying to keep up with traffic.
Yes, I know there are no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me.
4. What do you mean have I been drinking?
You are the trained specialist.
3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of сrаск, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
2. Hey, is that a 9mm?
That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?
After Graduating from High School, David moves away from home to study at University.
One of his letters home reads:
Dear Father,
University i$ really great.
I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.
With all my $tuff, I $imply ¢an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, Your $on.
After receiving his son's letter, the father immediately replies by sending a letter back.
Dear David,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy.
Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love,
Dad
One day a blonde came home from school and came to her mother and said, "Hey, Mommy! Mommy! Today in school we learned to count.
The other kids could only count to three but I can count to Ten..... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
The mother responds, "Very good honey."
The blonde asks, "Is that because I'm a blonde mommy?"
And the mother responds, "Yes dear."
Next day the blonde came home and went to her mother and said, "Today in school we learned our ABCs!
The other kids could only get to D but I can get to K! .... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K!"
The mother says, "Very good honey."
The blonde then asked.
"Is that because I'm a blonde, Mommy?"
The mother responds, "Yes dear."
The third day the blonde come home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy today in school we went swimming!
But I was the only one who had вrеаsтs.
Is that because I'm a blonde, Mommy?"
And the mother responds, "No Honey, it's because you're twenty five."