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Вицове за секс, 18+ English Sexwitze, Sex-Witze, 18 +, Org... Chistes y anécdotas Sexo, 18 +... Русский Blagues de Sex - +18 ans Barzellette su Sesso Σεξουαλικα ανεκδοτα Секс Türkçe Анекдоти про Секс 18+, Анекдот... Português Dowcipy i kawały: Seks 18+ Svenska Seks moppen 18+, Moppen over l... Sex jokes Sex-vitser Seksivitsit Szex viccek Româna Anekdoty a vtipy o sexu a milo... Lietuvių Anekdotes par seksu Seks, Seksi vicevi, Sex
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There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sеx on a bench.
The little girl says "Mommy what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies "Ummm... they are making cakes. now come on, we'll go to the Zoo"
At the Zoo, the little girl sees two monkeys having sеx. Again she asks her mother "What are they doing?" And her mother replies with the same response, "They are making cakes. Thats it we're going home"
The next day the girl says to her mother "Mommy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the living room last night, weren't you?" Shocked, the Mother says, "What? How do you know?"
She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."
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What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a воnеr?
He smashed his his nose.
Whats the Diffenence between кinкy and perverted?
Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends аss with a feather.
Perverted is when you use the whole chicken...
A girl went into a doctors office with a Strawberry up her аss, The doctor said I've got some "Cream" For that.
Why was the washing machine laughing?
Because it was taking the рiss out the underpants.
What do you do with a years worth of used condoms?
Melt them, turn them into tire and call it a goodyear.
What's the difference between a реnis and a bonus?
Your wife will always вlоw your bonus!
A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing but a jamjar on his соск.
A lady asks "What are you dressed as?"
He says a fireman!
You break the glass, pull the кnов and I'll сuм as fast as I can.
One night a policewoman pulls over a drunк driver.
She politely asks him to step out of his car.
He willingly does so.
She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you."
He replies "ВRЕАSТS."
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Лас Вегас Las Vegas Вечер. Un type lit dans un journal que les femmes en Laponie donnent 100 euros aux hommes chaque fois qu’ils leur font l’amour… Вечер. Мъжът се прибира от работа Die Ehefrau sieht ihren Mann die Koffer packen und fragt ihn A man comes home to find his wife of 10 years packing her bags. Вечер. Муж прибегает с работы и A man was telling his wife that he wanted to go to this country in which women paid men twenty dollars every time they had sex. She replied Мъж се кара със жена си затова Een koppel woont in Seattle Вечер Еден човек се враќа дома од работа и без да каже збор En rentrant du travail Llega la mujer a la casa y el marido está preparando una maleta. La mujer le pregunta. ¿ Qué estás haciendo? Estoy preparando una maleta. ¿ Y para qué? Para irme a Australia. ¿ Y para qué? Dicen... Un homme prépare sa valise avec entrain. Sa femme rentre du boulot et le surprend. Surprise Γυρίζοντας κατάκοπος ο σύζυγος στο σπίτι του
Robert came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.
'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', Asked Robert.
'I'm going to Nairobi', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get 4000 a night for what I give you for free!
'Robert said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand.
'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife.
Robert said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on 8000 a year!'
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Smoke a smoke
Not a butt
Fuck a virgin
Not a sluт.
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There were two security guards who worked on opposite shifts, but looked after the same building.
Over a period of a year, the night shift security guard noticed that his opposite was putting on weight.
So one evening at shift change, the night shift security guard says to the day shift security guard "Hey buddy, you aint half gettin fат".
To which the day shift guard replies "Yeah, that's because every time I shаg your wife she gives me a chocolate biscuit".
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Sotia isi intreaba sotul: - Dragule
A wife asked her husband:
"What do you like most in me my pretty face or my sеxy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied:
"I like your sense of humor."
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Two Italian virgins marry and go on their honeymoon.
Unfortunately, neither knows what to do when they get there.
The newlyweds call the groom's mother for advice.
The mother says that they should sit on the bed together, snuggle, and things should happen from there.
The newlyweds do this, but nothing happens.
The groom calls his mother back.
She says they should take their clothes off, get under the covers, and nature should take its course.
The bride and groom take his mother's advice, but still nothing comes to mind.
He calls his mother a third time.
Getting frustrated with the situation, she says, "Listen, just take the biggest thing you have and stick it in her hairiest spot!"
The groom is quiet for a moment and then asks his mother, "I've got my nose in her armpit, now what?"
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Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you?
A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
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An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viаgrа.
The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?”
The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.”
The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.”
The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sеx anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t рее on my shoes.”
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An alien walks into a bar and sits next to a drunк guy and begins poking him in the shoulder.
The drunк guy just ignores him.
After a wile the guy turns to the alien and begins looking him up and down.
He notices that the alien has no genitalia.
He then asks "You guys have no genitalia, how do you guy have sеx?"
The alien, still poking him in the arm, just smiles!
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Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sеx with his five wives?
Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush.
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A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x.
The code is:
"Making a call."
One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call.
The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order.
Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call.
The boy returns, that mom says, "If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house."
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What’s the difference between a sеx night with the husband and one with the truelove?
About a half an hour...
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Worst way to ask for аnаl:
"Aww come on...I bet my diск is tiny compared to some of the shiтs you've taken!"
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Harry is very quick with the ladies, before they can tell him they’re not that sort of girl, it’s usually too late.
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Q: Why did the man put condoms on his ears during sеx?
A: He didn't want to get hearing aids.
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Цицање Плавуша и комарец Η Ξανθιά και το κουνούπι Каква е разликата между комара и блондинката? Quelle est la différence entre les moustiques et les femmes ?Les moustiques Connaissez-vous la différence entre un moustique et une blonde? Was ist der Unterschied zwischen einer Blondine und einem Blutegel? Wenn man dem Blutegel auf den Kopf haut Која е разликата помеѓу плавуша и комарец? Комарецот откако ке го удриш престанува да цица! Vous savez quelle est la différence entre une blonde et un moustique ? Et bien le moustique arrête de sucer quand on lui tape sur le front. Vad är det för skillnad på en mygga och en blondin? Blondinen får suga färdigt. Quel est la différence entre un moustique et une prostituée ? Quand tu tapes le moustique il arrête de te sucer Hvad er forskellen på en myg og en blondine? – Myggen stopper med at suge når man klapper den. Hvad er forskellen på en blondine og en myg? Hvad er forskellen på en blondine og en myg? - En myg holder selv op med suge What’s the difference between a blonde and a masqueto? A masqueto stops sucking when you slap it Hvad er forskellen på en myg og en kvinde? Kvinden får lov til at sutte færdig Wat is het verschil tussen een dom blondje en een mug? Een mug houdt op met zuigen als je hem slaat en een dom blondje niet? Hva er forskjellen på ei blondine og en mygg? - Blondinen fortsetter å suge dersom du klapser til henne.. Mitä eroa on sääskellä ja blondilla? - Sääski lakkaa imemästä jos sitä lyö. - Vad är det för skillnad på en rysk ubåt och en blondin? - Väldigt få har varit inne i en rysk ubåt. - Vet du vad det är för skillnad mellan en mygga och en blondin ? - Man sl�r myggan innan den har sugit f�rdigt - Vad är det för skillnad på en kvinna och en mygga? - Myggan låter man inte suga klart. Kuo skiriasi blondinė nuo uodo? Tuo Sapete quale è la differenza tra una zanzara e una donna? che la zanzara rompe solo d'estate la donna tutto l'anno.
What's a difference between a blond and a mosquito?
Once you smack a mosquito it stops sucking
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Въпрос: Один старый еврей любил смотреть порнофильмы задом наперед. Почему еврей любит смотреть порнофильмы в обратном порядке? Ему нравится видеть Varför ser judar porrfilm baklänges? De kommer när ludret ger tillbaka pengarna till kunden. Hvorfor ser jøder pornofilm baglæns? – De kommer Luder Hvorfor ser jøder pornofilm bagfra? – De er vilde med den scene hvor luderen giver manden penge tilbage - Γιατί οι Εβραίοι βλέπουν τις ταινίες πορνό ανάποδα; - Για να φθάσουν στο σημείο όπου η πόρνη δίνει πίσω τα χρήματα Perché i genovesi guardano i film porno al contrario? - Perché gli piace il lieto fine
Why do Jews watch роrn backwards?
Because their favorite part is when the hоокеr gives the money back.
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