I saw a girl walking down the street that I fcuked years ago, so I ran up behind her, covered her eyes and whispered, “Guess who… I took your virginity…
“She said, “Dad?”
“Dad?” I replied, staggering back in disgust. “You lost your virginity to your dad?”
She turned round and said, “Oh… It’s you… I told you that you were my first because I was ashamed of what happened with my…”
“I don’t want to hear it,” I interrupted. “Fсuк you, and your dad.”
As I walked off, I turned round and shouted, “Tell him Uncle Tony won’t be coming round this Christmas.”
@Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the соndом factory.
@ A wife is a sеx object. Every time you ask for sеx, she objects
@ Impotence: nature’s way of saying, “No hard feelings…”
@ There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - ‘don’t’ and ‘stop’, unless they are used together.
@ Раnтiеs: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
@ There are three stages in a man’s life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.
@ Virginity can be cured.
@ Virginity is not dignity, it’s lack of opportunity.
@ Having sеx is like playing bridge - if you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
@ I tried phone sеx once, but the holes in the dial were too small.
@ Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
@ Question: What’s an Australian kiss????Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
@ A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.
@ Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man’s life????? Answer: Life suскs, job suскs and the wife doesn’t
@ Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact????? Answer: Вrеаsтs don’t have eyes.
@ Despite the old saying, ‘Don’t take your troubles to bed’, many men still sleep with their wives. :p