Sports Jokes

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Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!

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Q: What do you call a woman who can suск a lemon through a 40-foot garden hose?
A: Darling.

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Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player?
Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.

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Did you know you can download the whole Tyson-Holyfield fight off the internet?
It doesn’t take much memory – just two Bytes.

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What do the World Series and bears on birth control have in common?
No Cubs

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There was this kid who wanted to divorce his parents, so he takes them to court.
The judge says,
"Do you want to live with your dad?" the kid says "no!
He beats me!".
The judge says,"you want to live with your mom?"
"No! she beats me too!".
So the judge says,
"Who do you want to live with then?"
The kid says,
"The Cleveland Browns... They can't beat anybody!"

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Chuck Norris once scored a field goal, using a hockey stick!

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They presented him with a cup when he was a boxer.
It was to keep his teeth in.

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After 8 rounds the boxer comes back in his corner, extremely grinded.
The couch says to him:
You should better take a decision!
You want the champion title or the Nobel for peace...

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A regular Friday night poker game was still going strong well after midnight when one of the players returned from bathroom with an urgent report.
"Roger, listen," he told the host, "Walter's in the kitchen making love to your wife!"
"OK, that's it, guys," Roger said.
"This is positively the last deal."

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What’s the hardest thing about learning to ice skate?
The ice.

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The boxer fells down in the fourth round.
The referee starts counting.
Billy’s grandmother gets up on her legs from the first row and screams:
Stop counting for nothing, he won’t get up!
I know him from the buss...

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The way from the cabins to the ring is too long, says the boxer.
No worries, on your way back you will come back with the stretcher...

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My dad is really annoyed, I had the TV on and he accidentally saw the entire football match – he’d just wanted to watch the results on the news.

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The hardest thing about prizefighting is picking up your teeth wearing a boxing glove.

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Mrs. Williams: Ok kids let's play soccer
Smack!
Anna:OW!
Mrs. Williams: What happened Anna?
Anna: Andy punched me!
Mrs. Williams : Why did you punch Anna,Andy?
Andy: You said let's play sock her, so I did.

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Why is basketball such a messy sport?
Because you dribble on the floor!

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Who was the last person to box Rocky Marciano?
His undertaker.
Golf

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