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Вицове за времето English Wetterwitze, Wetter Witze, Wet... Español Анекдоты про погоду Français Italiano Ελληνικά Македонски Türkçe Українська Português Polski Svenska Nederlands Dansk Vitser om været Suomi Időjárás viccek Româna Čeština Lietuvių Latviešu Hrvatski
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Weather jokes

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Q: What game do tornadoes like to play?
A: Twister.
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Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, “Windy, isn’t it?”
Second one says, “No, its Thursday!”
Third one says, “So am I. Let’s go get a вееr.”
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Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
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That recent tsunami was caused when Chuck Norris dropped a pebble into the ocean.
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Despite popular belief, there is no such thing as a tornado.
Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.
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While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather, to how things used to be in the “good old days.”
Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses.
One gentleman turned to the fellow on his right and asked,
“Roy, aren’t you and your bride celebrating your fiftieth wedding anniversary soon?”
“Yup, we sure are,” Roy replied.
“Well, are you gonna do anything special to celebrate?” another man asked.
The old gentleman pondered this for a moment, then replied, “For our twenty-fifth anniversary,
I took Bea to Tucson. Maybe for our fiftieth, I’ll go down there and get her.”
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That tornado damage your соw barn any?
Dunno.
Haven't found the durn thing yet.
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Unterschied zwischen Frauen und Taifunen Was haben Frauen und Tornados gemeinsam: ¿Por qué los huracanes en su mayoría tienen nombres de mujeres? ¿Por qué los huracanes tienen nombre de mujer? Porque cuando llegan son salvajes y mojados Hvorfor får orkaner altid pige navne? – Når de kommer er de våde og vilde og når de går tager de hus og bil med sig… Dlaczego kobieta podobna jest do huraganu? - Bo wprawdzie najpierw jest ciepła i wilgotna Opkaldt efter kvinder Hvorfor er alle orkaner opkaldt efter kvinder? – Fordi de er våde og vilde når de kommer Hva er likheten mellom jenter og orkaner? - Våte og ville i begynnelsen men tar med seg hus og bil når de drar.. Sabe porque que mulher é igual a tsunami? R: Porque quando vem vem cheia de onda maestra porque a los huracanes les ponen nombre de mujer? porque cuando se enojan se llevan todo casa carro Was haben Frauen und Orkane gemeinsam ?? Es fängt mit einem Blasen an Varför döper man tornados efter kvinnor? De dyker inte upp så ofta Q: How are women and a hurricane alike? A: When they arrive they're both wet and wild Was haben Frauen und Orkane gemeinsam? Sie sind heiß und feucht Q: How are women and tornadoes alike? A: They both moan like hell when they come - Чому урагани називають жіночими іменами? - Спочатку - загадкові і непередбачувані Pourquoi les ouragans ont-ils tous des noms de femmes ? Car quand ça arrive Τι κοινό έχει το τσουνάμι με το μουνί? Έρχονται και τα δύο ζεστά και υγρά και φεύγουν με αμάξι και σπίτι. Pourquoi les tornades ont toujours des noms de filles? Parce qu'elles arrivent chaudes et humides et repartent avec ta maison et ta voiture. Was haben eine Frau und ein Hurricane gemeinsam? Beide kommen warm und feucht Quelle est le point commun entre une femme et un ouragan? Question: Why are hurricanes sometimes named after women? Каква е приликата между блондинката и торнадото? И жените и торнадото започват с духане а после ти отнасят къщата ... - Знаете ли какво е общото между жената и торнадото ? - Защо ураганите ги наричат все с ​​женски имена? Γιατί όλοι οι τυφώνες έχουν θηλυκό όνομα; - Varför ger man tropiska orkaner kvinnonamn? - Det är för att de är vilda och våta när de kommer. Och när de försvinner tar de med sig bilen och huset... ¿ En qué se parecen las mujeres a los huracanes? En que llegan fuertes y salvajes y se van con tu carro y tu casa. Waarom hebben orkanen meestal vrouwelijke namen? - Ze komen meestal nat en krachtig aanzetten Perché gli uragani hanno nomi femminili? Perché quando arrivano sono bagnati e scatenati Miksi hirmumyrskyille annetaan naisten nimet? - Ne saapuvat villeinä ja märkinä Varför är alla orkaner uppkallade efter kvinnor? - Eftersom de båda är våta och vilda när de kommer och så tar de både hus och bil med sig när de går! Perchè i più grandi tornado hanno il nome di donna? Perchè quando arrivano sono caldi e umidi... e quando se ne vanno Kāpēc viesuļvētras sauc sieviešu vārdos? - Iesākumā tās ir noslēpumainas un neprognozējamas
Q: What do women, tornadoes and hurricanes have in common?
A: They all get the house.
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Q: What are the hottest days during summer?
A: Sun-days
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Yo Momma SO SТUРID WHEN THEY SAID THAT IT IS CHILLY OUTSIDE, SHE WENT OUTSIDE WITH A BOWL AND A SPOON.
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A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream.
They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?"
So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned.
"I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts."
And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
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Turtle to turtle:
"Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
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An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat.
"But will it be all right in the rain?" she asked anxiously.
"Oh certainly, ma am," said the manager smoothly.
"After all, you've never seen a squirrel with an umbrella have you?"
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A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone.
One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?"
The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain.
One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"
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There were three women who always hung their laundry out in the backyard.
Two of the women noticed Sophie never had her laundry out on days that it rained.
One day, they were all out in the backyard putting their clothes on the line when one of the women said to Sophie, "How come when it rains, your laundry is never out?"
"Well," said Sophie, "when I wake up in the morning, I look over at Paul. If his реnis is hanging over his right leg, I know I can hang out the wash. If his реnis is hanging over his left leg, I know it's going to rain, so I don't hang out the wash."
"What if it is pointed straight up?" asked one of the women.
"On a day like that, I don't bother with the laundry."
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Why does California have so many destructive earthquakes and Alabama has black people?
California got first pick.
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Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate it when it rains?
A: Because the kids have to play inside.
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Q: Why are native Americans effective strippers?
A: When they dance they make it rain.
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