Two Statues …..
……
There are two statues in a park; one of a nudе man and one of a nudе woman. ….
…..
They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.
The angel tells them, “As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you’ve wished to do the most.”
He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery. The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing.
The angel tells them, “Um, you have fifteen minutes left, “Would you care to do it again?”
He asks her. “Shall we?”
She eagerly replies, “Oh, yes, let’s! But let’s change positions. This time, I’ll hold the рigеоn down, and you shiт on its head.”
( …. And what were you thinking??)
The Texas Preacher
The new Texas preacher was a dead ringer for Brad Pitt, the film actor and every woman’s heartthrob. One day he decided to visit some of the church members who hadn’t been to service lately.
He went to the first lady’s house and knocked on the door. When she answered the door, she said, “Oh my God, it’s Brad Pitt!”
“No ma’am,” he replied. “I’m your new pastor, and I came to have prayer with you.” So she said, “come right on in.”
He visited several more homes, and everyone thought he was Brad Pitt. Then he came to a young widow woman’s house on the end of the street. She was taking a shower at the time, so she just wrapped a towel around her and opened the door. When she saw her caller, she threw up her hands - which allowed the towel to fall to the floor. “Oh my God!” she exclaimed. “It’s Brad Pitt!” And the preacher said,
.
.
.
.
.
“Hello, Darlin!!”