An unmarried woman is newly pregnant and gets into an auto accident. She suffers a head injury and lapses into a coma for nine months. When she awakens in the hospital, she panics and asks about her baby.
Her doctor is called in and gives her a mild sedative, then he sits down to answer her questions. “I’m so happy to see you recovering”, he says. The woman responds, “Thank you doctor, but what about my baby? Is everything all right?” He replies, “Yes, despite your injury, we were able to perform a fairly normal delivery procedure.”
“In fact,” he goes on, “you’ve given birth to twins - a boy and a girl.”
The woman is very happy and asks when she can see her new babies. The doctor replies, “Right away, but we’ve already sent the infants home with your brother. We’ll call and tell him you’re okay. While you were unconscious, your brother took care of everything for you. He even gave the babies names.”
At this point, the woman gets upset, “Doctor, my brother is an idiот! What name did he give my little girl?” The doctor answered that her name was Denise. “Oh, Denise, that’s not so bad. What name did he give my boy?” The doctor answered, “Denephew”.
Grandmother and granddaughter were in the bank when three bank robbers walked in and held it up.
“All the women down on the floor,” one handsome robber commanded.
“My grandmother too?” the little girl asked.
“Yes, your grandmother too!”
“All the women on the floor, pull up your dresses.”
“My grandmother too?”
“Yes, your grandmother too! All women will now remove their раnтiеs.”
“Surely you don’t mean my grandmother too?” asked the little girl.
Becoming angry, the handsome robber shouted, “YES, YOUR GRANDMOTHER TOO! Now, all the women on the floor are to spread their legs apart.”
When the little girl started to ask if her grandmother was included, her grandmother snarled, “YOU HEARD WHAT THE MAN SAID!”