Two guys are stranded in the desert dying of thirst. As they’re walking along they see a little shack. They run up to it and knock on the door. This big, fат, hairy, smelly, ugly, lady answers.
The first man tells the lady about their situation and begs her for a drink.
The women says, “Sure, if you fuск me.”
The first man replies, “I would rather die in this desert, then sleep with your fат smelly аss.”
The second man wants to live and agree’s to do the deed. The second man and the women enter the shack, leaving the first man outside. The women says, “fuск me then!”
The man agrees to do it only if she will close her eyes. He looks around the shack and sees a table full of corn on the cob. He picks one up, fuскs her with it and throws it out the window. The women opens her eyes and asks for it again.
The man agrees and repeats the deed. The women is finally satisfied and agrees to give the man and his friend some water. The man calls his friend in and informs him that the women is going to give them some water.
The friend replies, “Fuск the water, I want some more of that buttered corn.”
Father Pedro was called to a house to attempt to expel an evil spirit from an elderly woman. He brought an assistant pastor to help with the procedure. The woman's daughter answered the door and motioned to where her mother was sitting. The Father walked over to the woman, waved a cross, and shouted, "Out, demon!"
He then tore off his robe, revealing running shoes and jogging shorts. Then, he rushed out the door and ran a quick mile around the block. Returning to the house and donning his robe, he went over to the woman and shouted, "Out, you filthy devil!"
And again, after removing his priest's outfit, he was out the door to run another mile. The old woman's daughter was confused about the priest's behavior and asked the assistantpastor, "What in the world is going on here?"
To which the pastor answered, "Oh, that's just the way Father Pedro exorcises!"