There's a lot to be said about marital bliss...
A while back there was an opening in the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are extremely difficult to fill, requiring an extensive background check, training, and testing before candidates are even considered for the position. After reviewing several applicants and completing all the checks and training, the field was narrowed to the three most promising candidates. The day came for the final test, which would determine which of equally qualified candidates, would get the job.
The final candidates consisted of two men and one woman. The men administering the test took the first candidate, a man, down a corridor to a closed door and handed him a gun saying, "We must be completely assured that you will complete your assignments and follow instructions regardless of the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife, seated in a chair. Take this gun and кill her." The man, looking completely shocked said,
"You can't be serious! I could never кill my wife." The CIA man said,
"Well, then, you're obviously not the man for the job. Take your wife and go home." They brought the next candidate in, the other man, and repeated the instructions. This man took the gun, walked into the room and closed the door. However, after five minutes of silence, the door opened and the man handed the CIA tester the gun, saying, "I just couldn't do it. I couldn't кill my wife. I tried to pull the trigger but I just couldn't do it." The CIA man said,
"Well, then, you're obviously not the man for the job. Take your wife and go home."
Then they brought the woman down the corridor to the closed door, handed her a gun, and said,
"We must be completely assured that you will complete your assignments and follow instructions regardless of the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your husband, seated in a chair. Take this gun and кill him." The woman took the gun, walked into the room, and before the door closed all the way, the CIA men heard the gun start firing. One shot after another, for thirteen shots, the noise continued. Then all hеll broke loose. For the next several minutes, the men heard screaming, cursing, furniture crashing and ваnging on the walls; then suddenly, silence. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said,
"You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks! I had to beat him to death with the chair!"
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy’s, one of the largest department store chains.
He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, “I’d like to buy a вrа for my wife”
“What type of вrа?” asked the clerk.
“Type?” inquires the man “There is more than one type?”
“Look Around,” said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size color and material.
“Actually, even with all of this variety, there are reallyonly three types of bras,” replied the salesclerk.
Confused, the man asked what were the types.
The saleslady replied “The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?”
Still confused the man asked, “What is the difference between them?”
The lady responded “It is all really quite simple.
The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills.
After having failed his exam, a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.
Student:
“Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?”
Professor:
“Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!”
Student:
“Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you to give me an “A” for the Exam.”
Professor:
“Okay, it’s a deal. So what is the question?”
Student:
“What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither logical nor legal?”
Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an “A”, as agreed.
Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.
He immediately answers:
“Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 17 Year old lover, which is logical but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife’s lover an “A”, although he really should have failed, is neither legal nor logical.”