Jokes about Women

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If god didn’t want women to do all the cooking then why did he put milk and eggs inside them?

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Your forehead so big it built like megamind’s robot period

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A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.

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Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl?
I’d really like to meter

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A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked his what he was suppose to be. He answered," A turtle."
'Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again.
The boy answered, " it’s Michelle."

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What do TVs and girls have in common ?
They both show you stuff when you turn them on!

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I was watching my son play at the park and a lady asked me. “which one is yours” and for fun i said “i don’t know i’m still choosing”.

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Dad:
“Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?”
Son:
“Nah, mostly men.”
Dad:
“Do you think you’d be comfortable telling that to a judge in court…”

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A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. “What a cute bunch of cows!” she remarked. “Not a bunch, herd”, her friend replied. “Heard of what?”
“Herd of cows.”
“Of course I’ve heard of cows.”
“No, a соw herd.”
“What do I care what a соw heard. I have no secrets to keep from a соw!”

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I make science puns, but only periodically :3

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People might not laugh to my jokes, or have a reaction at all, But I’d explode with euphoria. Periodically, people might laugh every now and then.

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Jokes about меnsтruатiоn are not funny. Period.

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What commitment does a рiмр make to each new hое he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.

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What do you call Stevan hauking on a period. Mario cart

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When your exercising and you feel the “gush”

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How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood off her son’s соск!

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Why did the girl rage badly when she got an D- on her essay?
Because the teacher said she missed all her periods

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How do you know a hippie is on her period?
Her socks are missing.
How do you know she’s off?
Her socks are tye-dye.

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