Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.
Five minutes
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.
Nothing
This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"
GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"
GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
Loud sigh
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiот at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
Soft sigh
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.
That's okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."
Go ahead!
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
Please do
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"
Thanks
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.
Thanks a lot
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"
A bus stops to let on a passenger. This attractive lady steps onto the bus and puts her right thumb to her nose and wiggles her fingers without saying a word. The bus driver puts his right thumb to his nose and his left thumb to the palm of his right hand and wiggles all eight of his fingers. The woman then looks a bit confused and in silence grabs her воовs. The bus driver in a growing lack of patience grabs his ваlls, the woman then turns around, grabs her аss and struts off the bus.
A frequent passenger who sits at the front of the bus looks to the driver, and says, “Tom, I’ve been riding your bus for quite a few years now and I’ve never seen anything as vulgаr as this! I’m going to have to ride a different route!”
Tom, the driver, looks to the woman sitting in the front seat and replies, “You are mistaken, that woman was deaf. She asked me if this bus was headed for 5th. street, I said, ‘no, 10th street.’ She asked if it went to the Dairy Mart, I told her that it went to the ball park and she said, ‘shiт, I’m on the wrong bus’ and left.'”
One day, a man on a golf course, was having a really lousy game. Just as he was about to hit the ball, he heard a voice behind him. "Ribbit 9 iron, ribbit 9 iron." He turned around and there was a frog on the green. "OK frog, we'll just see how much you know," said the man. He used the 9 iron and hit a hole in one. The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. "What do you think, frog?"
"Ribbit 3 wood, ribbit 3 wood." After golfing the most amazing game of his life, the man takes the frog to the casino. "What do you think frog?"
"Ribbit black 21, ribbit black 21." After winning around 40,000 dollars, the man takes the frog up to his hotel room and sits it on the bed. "OK frog, you've done so much for me, is there anything I can do for you?"
"Ribbit kiss me, ribbit kiss me." So, the man leaned over and kissed the frog. It turned into a beautiful woman named Monica.
"And that, your honor, is how she got into my room, or my name isn't William Jefferson Clinton!"