A tired minister was at home resting, and through the window he saw a woman approaching his door. She was one of those too-talkative people, and he was not anxious to talk with her. He said to his wife, "I'll just duck upstairs and wait until she goes away."
An hour passed, then he tiptoed to the stair landing and listened ... not a sound. He was very pleased, so he started down calling loudly to his wife, "Well, my Dear, did you get rid of that old bore at last?"
The next moment he heard the voice of the same woman, and she couldn't possibly have missed hearing him. Two steps down, he saw them both staring up at him. It seemed truly a crisis moment.
The quick-thinking minister's wife answered, "Yes, Dear, she went away over an hour ago. But Mrs. Jones has come to call in the meantime, and I'm sure you'll be glad to greet her."
I was stuck on the bus for fifteen minutes today.
Some dumb girl refused to pay her fare, claiming she had left her Oyster card at home, so therefore she should be able to travel for free.
The bus driver refused to move until she paid her fare, and the sтuрid вiтсh refused to get off the bus.
Every other passenger on the bus was giving her daggers, but she didn’t give a shiт.
Finally, I couldn’t stand it any more. I got out of my seat, strode right up to her, and gave her a backhander across the face.
The force of the вlоw sent her tumbling out of the bus, sprawling onto the pavement.
“How dare you hit a defenceless woman!” she cried. “Where’s your fuскing conscience?”
“I left it at home”, I replied, as the bus drove off without her