Drunk Jokes, Drinking Jokes, Alcohol Jokes, Alcoholic Jokes, Beer Jokes
A Canadian is on vacation and walks into a bar.
He sits on this HUGE stool and says to the bartender' man, I heard things are big down here in Texas, but this is ridiculas!' and orders a mug of вееr.
He gets a pitcher of вееr and asks the bartender, 'man, I heard that things are big down here in Texas but this is ridiculas!' and goes about drinking his вееr. He orders another and he gets really рissеd drunк.
Well, not too long later, he has to go to the bathroom really, really bad so he asks the bartender, 'Where is your washroom???'
The bartender says, down the hall, second door on the right.'
So the man climbs off the stool and stumbles down the hall and enters the second door to the left and falls in this huge swimming pool.
The man is struggling to stay afloat and screams 'DON'T FLUSH IT!!!
An alcoholic, a smoker and a gаy went to a doctor.
The doctor told them that if they do again what they think are addicted to, they will die.
As soon as the alcoholic went out of the hospital, he saw a bar.
He thought for a while and said to himself, "If I drink one, I will die, if I don’t drink, I will die, too. So it’s better to get drunк."
And he entered the bar, drank and died.
At that time, the smoker saw one cigarette-end on the street.
The gаy walking behind him started crying, "Don’t! Don’t do it!"
"Why? I want to smoke so much."
"If you bend... we both are dead!"
A drunк stammers out of a bar and runs into two priests.
He runs up to them and says, ”I’m Jesus Сhrisт.”
The first priest says, ”No, son, I’m Jesus Сhrisт.”
So the drunк says it to the second priest.
The second priest replies, ”No, son, I’m Jesus Сhrisт.”
The drunк says, ”Look, I can prove it.” and walks back into the bar with the priests.
The bartender takes on look at the drunк and exclaims, ”Jesus Сhrisт, you’re here again?”