On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:
2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman, 2 French men and 1 French woman, 2 German men and 1 German woman, 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman, 2 English men and 1 English woman, 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman, 2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman, 2 Australian men and 1 Australian woman, 2 New Zealander men and 1 New Zealander woman, 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman, 2 American men and 1 American woman. One month later, the following things have occurred....
One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
The two French men and the French woman are living happily together, having loads of sеx.
The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.
The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
The Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the Polish woman and they started swimming.
The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are waiting for instructions.
The two Australian men beat each other senseless fighting over the Australian woman, who called them both bloody wankers and is checking out all the other men.
Both New Zealand men are searching the island for sheep.
The Irish began by dividing the island into North and South and setting up a distillery. They do not remember if sеx is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey, but they are satisfied in that at least the English are not getting any.
The American woman keeps on вiтсhing about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinions and treated her much nicer and how her relationship with her mother is mproving. The two American men have committed suicide.
Once upon a time Nasa decided to send 3 astronauts to space for 2 years. One was American, one was Russian, and the other was English. NASA allowed each of them to take 200 pounds of baggage each.
The American decided to take along his wife, the Englishman decided to take along books to learn how to speak German, whilst the Russian decided to take along cigarettes.
Two years later, when the space shuttle landed, there was a big crowd waiting to welcome them home. First came the American and his wife, and each of them had a baby in their arms. Next came the Englishman speaking fluent German. They both gave their speeches and got a rousing round of applause.
Suddenly, out came the Russian with a cigarette in his mouth. He walked up to the podium, snarled at the crowd, and asked, "Has anyone got a friggin' match?"
An American cowboy was traveling in England and decided to stop at a tea shop for a drink. On the menu there were several different teas to choose from. When the waitress came to take his order, the cowboy asked, "Ma'am, what the hеll do all these names mean?"
The waitress calmly replied, "We have basically three types of tea, sir. The peacove tea is 90% substance and 10% aroma, the orange tea is 10% substance and 90% aroma, and the Blackberry tea is an acquired taste."
The cowboy responded, "Where I come from, we have three types of tea too, Ma'am. There's s-h-i-T which is 90% substance and 10% aroma, there is f-a-r-T which is 10% substance and 90% aroma, and then there is c-u-n-T which is an acquired taste."
After World War II, an American soldier was going back to London from the front.
He was on a very crowded train, and was looking for a seat, but the only empty one was next to an older lady, and she had her pet poodle on it.
He said, “Please, madam, I’m very tired. May I please sit here?”
The lady replied, “No. My precious little poodle, Miss Fluffy, is sitting here.”
The soldier walked the length of the train again with no luck,
So he went back to the same seat next to the same woman and said,
“Please, Madam, I have been fighting at the front for months, my feet hurt and I’m very tired. May I please sit here?”
The woman told him,
“I cannot believe how rude you are! I have already told you that my darling little Miss Fluffy is sitting here.”
At that, the American lost his temper, picked up the poodle and threw it out the window.
An old man who was sitting across the compartment looked at the American soldier and said,
“You Americans do everything wrong. You drive on the wrong side of the road, you eat with the wrong hand and now you’ve thrown the wrong b!itch out of the window!”