Being airborne approximately thirty minutes on an outbound evening Air
Lingus flight from Dublin, the lead flight attendant nervously made the
Following painful announcement in her lovely Irish brogue:
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry, but it appears that there has
Been a terrible mix-up... one minute prior to take-off, by our catering
Service..., I don't know how this has happened, but we have 103 passengers
On board, and..., unfortunately, we received only 40 dinner meals... I
Truly apologize for this mistake and inconvenience.”
When passengers' muttering had died down, she continued..., "Anyone who is
Kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat, will
Receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our 4 hour flight.”
Her next announcement came about 2 hours later... "If anyone would like to
Change their minds, we still have 40 dinners available."
The other day a squirrel asked me for a job, I asked him what jobs did you have previously. Calmly he answered," I am a pilot, I can pick it up from here and pile it over there, I also can fly a sign!!!"
" To bad, this is a nut cannery, and we’re 100% automated, we don’t need anyone at this time, sorry."
" No worries, I’m totally nuts anyway, guess I’ll fly a sign across town, don’t have bus fare!!!"