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Bible Jokes
Bible Jokes
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Newest jokes
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Good luck breeding those lions
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Yo mama is so old that she's mentioned in the shout out at the end of the bible.
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In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine.
But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into вееr.
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A priest took a beautiful girl in his bedroom.
He put a Bible on the bed and asked the girl to lie on the bed.
When the priest tried to have sеx with her, the girl shouted:
"Father, what are you doing?"
The priest replied "Calm down my child.
Holy Bible under you, Holy Father above you and Holy water passing through."
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Q: Did you hear about the the evangelical atheist?
A: She went door to door with a book full of blank pages.
27
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Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.
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Q: Why did the unemployed man get excited while looking through his Bible?
A: He thought he saw a job.
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Q: Who was the best business woman in the Bible?
A: Pharoah's daughter – she drew a profit from the rush at the bank.
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"And so, God came forth and proclaimed widescreen is the best"
Sony 16:9
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Q: Why didn't go Noah fishing?
A: He only had two worms.
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Q: Who was the smartest man in the Bible?
A: Abraham. He knew a Lot.
30
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One day the zookeeper noticed that the Orangutan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species.
In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"?
"Well," said the Orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
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Q: Did you know that they had automobiles in Jesus' time?
A:Yes, the Bible says that the disciples were all of one Accord.
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Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A: Samson. He brought the house down.
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Q: What was the world's first palindrome?
A: Madam, I'm Adam.
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Recently, I've been using the Bible for support.
I've got a wobbly coffee table.
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Q: Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
A: When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
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The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.
Three weeks later, a donkey walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the donkey's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the donkey. "Your name is written inside the cover."
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