One day while Bill Clinton was doing his morning jogging he noticed a little boy standing outside the white house gates. As curiosity got him, Bill jogged over to the gates to see what the little boy was doing.
As he approached the gates Bill was taken by suprise when he noticed a sign that said, "Democratic Puppies for Sale". Bill approached the boy and says, "What's up son?". To which the little boy replied, " I am selling Democratic Puppies, Would you like to buy one Mr. President?".
"No Thanks", Said the President, "but good luck". He then continued on his morning jog.
Thinking about how cute the puppies had been, Bill went to Hillary and told her about the Demoratic Puppies. THey both laughed about how cute, "Democratic Puppies". So they decided the next morning to go down to the gate to see about purchasing one of the Puppies. Bill and Hillary were glad to see that the little boy with the puppies was still there.
But to their suprise, when they appoached the boy, they saw the sign but this time it stated "Republican Puppies for sale" Bill inquired about the sign stating, "Young man, yesterday when I was here you had a sign up stating that there were Democtratic Puppies for sale. Now today it says Republican Puppies for sale. What's the deal?"
To which the little boy replied, "Yes sir Mr. President, But today they all have their eyes open."
Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb and Don Juan were having a terrible disagreement.
"I am the most beautiful person in the world." proclaimed Sleeping Beauty.
"No, you're not." answered Don Juan and TomThumb.
"I am the smallest person in the world." shouted Tom Thumb.
"No, you're not." said Sleeping Beauty and Don Juan.
"I've had more lovers than any one in the world." announced Don Juan.
"No, you haven't." replied Tom Thumb and Sleeping Beauty.
Well, they decided that if the three were to get along, they needed a mediator, and decided that Merlin, clearly the smartest person in the world, would be ideal. Merlin agreed to mediate, and summoned them all to his palace, where he announced he would meet with them one at a time.
Sleeping Beauty went in first and not a minute later came out beaming. "I AM the most beautiful person in the world, Merlin said so."
In went Tom Thumb and out he came as quickly as had Sleeping Beauty. "Merlin agreed that I AM the smallest person in the world."
In goes Don Juan and in he stays, a half hour, an hour, an hour and a half later. Finally, he emerges distraught, scratching his head and muttering "Who the hеll is Bill Clinton?
Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One.
Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $100.00 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy."
Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $10.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy".
Hillary tosses her perfectly hair-sprayed, bleached blonde hair and says, "Of course, then, I could throw one-hundred $1.00 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy."
Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy".
While undrеssing for bed one night, Bill Clinton notices a red rash around his "thing." Alarmed, he thinks, "I can't let Hillary see this!", and makes a point of getting to his doctor at Bethesda Naval Hospital, the very next day.
"Doc," he says, "I've got this red ring around my, you know. What is it, and how do I get rid of it?"
The doctor says, "Well, I'm not exactly sure what it is, but take these pills for a week, and see if that takes care of it. If not, come back and we'll try something else."
Bill takes the pills for the week, but unfortunately, the red ring is still there after 7 days. He goes back to his doctor and tells him the pills didn't help.
So the doctor prescribes another medication, capsules this time, and gives him the same instructions. Take them for a week, and come back if it's not improved.
Bill takes the capsules for a week, and dамn rash is still there. So he goes back to his doctor and asks, "What next?" The doctor gives him a cream in a tube this time. "Rub this on every day for a week, and let me know."
Bill goes back in a week and says, "Great news, doc! The rash is gone! That stuff in the tube was wonderful! What was it?"
The doctor replied, "Lipstick remover."