A virile, middle aged Italian gentlemen named Guidо was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde woman.
Things progressed to the point where he led her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her senseless.
After a pleasant interlude he asked with a smile, "So, you finish?"
She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, "No."
Surprised, Guidо reached for her and the rattling resumed.
This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion. The sеx finally ends and, again, Guidо smiles and asks, "You finish?"
Again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles closer to him and softly says, "No."
Stunned, but dамnеd if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied, Guidо reaches for the woman yet again.
Using the last of his strength, he barely manages it, but they end together screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets.
Exhausted, Guidо falls onto his back, gasping Barely able to turn his head, he looks into her eyes, smiles proudly and asked again, "You finish?"
Barely able to speak, the beautiful blonde whispers in his ear, "No, I Norwegian."
Jim, a collections specialist, was on his first day of work for his new employer and was assigned to collect a past due balance from a company that was a customer of his employer. He had been provided with a standard script that he was to use where he was to ask for "Accounts Payable" when calling the customer so that he could talk with someone about the payment of the past due bill. He made the call, asked the receptionist for "Accounts Payable", and waited for what seemed to be forever on hold. Finally, after a very long time, the blonde receptionist, who was also on her first day on the job and new to the world of business, came back on the phone and stated, "I am sorry, but I have looked down our list of employees and I do not find anyone named Accounts Payable."
This is the last joke of the day, but not the last “fun” thing I will post to my blog. A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde worked as office assistants for Mrs. Jessell. They realized that Mrs. Jessell was leaving work early every day, so one day they decided that when she left early, they'd sneak out a few minutes later. Minutes after Mrs. Jessell left, they all did the same. The brunette took a nap. The redhead got ready for a date. The blonde went over to her boyfriends house. When she walked in, she saw Mrs. Jessell and her boyfriend smooching on the couch. She backed out the door without them noticing her, feeling very shaky. The next afternoon, after Mrs. Jessell left work early, the brunette and redhead said they were going to go home as well. But the still shaky blond decided to stay behind. “Why?” they asked her. “Because,” she replied, “yesterday I almost got caught.”
A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears.
She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him!"
"Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding."
"No, mother," the young woman laments. "I bought a frozen turkey loaf and he yelled at me about the price."
"Well, that is being miserly," the mother agreed, "Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars."
"No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey roll, it was the airplane ticket."
"Airplane ticket.... What did you need an airplane ticket for?"
"Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the back and it said, 'PREPARE FROM A FROZEN STATE,' so I flew to Alaska."
A blonde, a redhead, and brunette decided to go on a hike. The redhead said,
"I brought water, so in case we get thirsty, we will have something to drink." And she started up the hill.
The brunette said,
"I brought food, so in case we get hungry, we will have something to eat." And she started up the hill.
The brunette and the redhead turned around and asked the blonde, "What'd you bring?"
The blonde said,
"I brought a car door. In case we get hot, we can roll down the window.