A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or no legs. One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fuскеd." The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
There was this homeless drunк dude laying in an alley talking out loud saying, "I wish had another drink." He then passed out. As he was saying that, a gаy dude was walking by and heard him. When the gаy guy came back, he f*cked the homeless guy and put three dollars in his pocket. The homeless dude woke up later and found the money, ran to the liquor store, and said, "Give me the cheapest half of pint you have," and went back to his spot, drunк it and passed out again. The gаy dude came back, f*cked the homeless dude again, and left five dollars. He ran back to the liquor store and said, "Give me the cheapest pint you have," and went back to his spot. The gаy dude came back again. Once he saw the homeless man passed out, he f*cked him again and left eight dollars The homeless dude woke up and realized he had some more money. He ran back to the liquor store, and before he could say a word, the owner said, "I know, you want the cheapest pint you can get," and the homeless dude said, "No, give me the most expensive half you got. That cheap liquor is tearing my аss up."