A man was traveling north to Dallas. He needed to use the bathroom and so at a rest stop he goes into a stall. He sits down and was surprised to hear someone in the next stall say, "So how ya doing?"
The man gulps and thinks about what he should say and then decides to answer. So he clears his throat and says,
"Uh.... I'm fine."
Then the stranger in the next stall says,
"So where are you headed?"
Again the man, a little nervous answers, "Uh... I'm headin north to Dallas."
Then the stranger asked,
"So what have you been up to?"
Again the man answers, "Not much, I'm actually on a business trip."
The man sat there waiting for another question when finally he heard the stranger in the next stall impatiently say, "Look, I'm going to have to call you back, some idiот in the next stall thinks I'm talking to him."
This device is designed to meet short time emergency needs in case of a computer operations failure, or operational delay. This device is the Primary Emergency Network Computer Interface Liaison device (P. E. N. C. I. L.). This device has been field tested extensively, including certification testing, as well as volume and stress testing. Properly maintained, the device meets all the requirements for coding and data input. Prior to use, the (P. E. N. C. I. L.) will require preparation and
Testing. Tools and supplies required will be: A sharpened knife or grinding device; and a supply of computer paper (with or without holes).
Gripping the device firmly in your hand, proceed to scrape or grind the wooded end until it has a cone-like appearance. The dark core area must be exposed to properly function. Place a single sheet of computer paper on a smooth, hard surface. Take the backup device, place the sharpened point against the paper, and pull it across the paper. If properly done, this will input a single line.
CAUTION: Excessive force may damage components of the device or damage the data reception device. If either the P. E. N. C. I. L. or the paper are damaged, go back to the preparation instructions above.
Proper use of the device will require data simulation input by the operator. Placing the device against the computer page forming symbols as closely resembling the computer lettering system you normally use. At the completion of each of the simulated letters, lift the device off the page, move it slightly to the right, replace it against the page, and form the next symbol. This may appear tedious, and somewhat redundant, but, with practice, you should be able to increase your speed and
Accuracy. The P. E. N. C. I. L. is equipped with a manual deletion device.
The device is located on the reverse end of the P. E. N. C. I. L. Error deletions operate similarly to the "backspace" key on your computer. Simply place the device against the erroneous data, and pull it
Backwards over the letters. This should remove the error,and enable you to resume data entries.
CAUTION: Excessive force may damage the data reception device. Insufficient force, however, may result in less than acceptable deletion, and may require re-initialization of action as above. This
Device is designed with user maintenance in mind. However, if technical support is required, you can still call your local computer desk supervisor at (800)-YOU-DUММУ.