Cat jokes

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Two friends are meeting in a bar
Friend1: My wife and I got a new pet.
Friend2: Cool, what is it? A cat? A dog?
Friend1: Neither. It is a skunk.
Friend2: Oh gosh. Isn't it smelling totally awful in your home?
Friend1: Well, the pet will have to get used to it.

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My cat got another bumpersticker.
Bite the hands that don't feed you.

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Today, a CAT fell on me.
Would've been funny, had I not been in a construction site.

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I think my kitten has a tumor..
But I won’t know for sure until she has a cat scan

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I saw a missing kitten poster at the end of my street, responds to "Rasputin"
Now there was a cat who really was gone

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What do you call it when your doctor tells you to take your dead cat to a Taxidermist
A refurral.

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My dog loves to huмр my cat
He’s a real purrrrvert

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Halloween is next month! Here's a Halloween themed joke for you all: Why is a black cat unlucky?
It means you cooked it too long.

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A vet calls a cat owner.
- Sir your wife is here with your cat, she wants me to put her to sleep. Do you agree with that?
- Yeah sure put her to sleep, and let the cat out, she knows how to come back home on her own.

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What happens when a cat gets possesed by a demon?
It needs to be purrified

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I told my roommate, "I just reminded my neighbor 6 times to take his cat with him when he moves tomorrow." My roommate replied, " That's just your dementia."
Ha, joke's on her. I remember all 3 times I told him.

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A cat jumps into a river
Catfish.

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How did the alcoholic cat live for so long?
He had nine livers.

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I bought a can of tuna cat food, but there was catfish meat inside.
I got catfish catfish cat fish.

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What do you call a woman who sleeps with cat-like humanoid aliens?
Thundercats Но!

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What did the cat say after hearing to a funny joke ?
Lmao.

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What do you get when you're driving down the road and throw a cat out the window?
Kitty litter.

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Grumpy cat is literally now
A dead meme.

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