China Jokes, Chinese jokes

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Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant.
"Sid," asked Al, "Are there any Jews in China?"
"I don't know," Sid replied. "Why don't we ask the waiter?"When the waiter came by, Al said, "Are there any Chinese Jews?"
"I don't know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied and he went into the kitchen.
He quickly returned and said, "No, sir. No Chinese Jews."
"Are you sure?" Al asked.
"I will check again, sir." the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.
While he was still gone, Sid said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere."
When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Chinese Jews."
"Are you really sure?" Al asked again. "I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews."
"Sir, I ask everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have orange jews, prune jews, tomato jews and grape jews, but no one ever hear of Chinese jews!"
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An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow were hired at a construction site.
The foreman pointed out a huge pile of sand and told the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping."
To the Scotsman he said, "You're in charge of shoveling."
And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."
He then said, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile."
The foreman went away for a of couple hours, and, when he returned, the pile of sand was untouched.
He asked the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"
The Italian replied, "I no hava no broom. You said to the Chinese fella that he a wasa in a charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere."
Then the foreman turned to the Scotsman and said, "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile."
The Scotsman replied, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meself a shoovel! Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldnay fin' him either."
The foreman was really angry by now and stormed off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy.
Just then, the Chinese guy jumped out from behind the pile of sand and yelled...
"SUPPLIES!"
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How do they name Chinese baby's? They throw silverware down the stairs until they hear something they like. Víte How do Asians name their babies? They throw a can down the stairs.
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Ein Inder beim Scheidungsanwalt Индиец при адвокат по разводите: Wódz indiański żąda rozwodu. - Kiedy zasadziłem kukurydze Indiánský náčelník žádá o rozvod. „Když zasadím kukuřici Přijde Ind na úřad v hlavním městě a povídá: „Sáhibe
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Κινέζικα βασανιστήρια Τα τρία κινέζικα βασανιστήρια Perdu en forêt Um homem se perdeu no meio da China. Passou 3 meses dormindo em cavernas e comendo plantas Les trois pires tortures chinoises. Un gars est perdu au beau milieu de la campagne chinoise. Cela fait trois semaines qu'il n'a rien mangé Een jonge man loopt peinzend door het bos Un homme est perdu dans les montagnes en Chine depuis trois semaines Ήταν μια φορά ένα αεροπλάνο A királyfi bejelentkezik a kínai császárhoz Jeden pilot havaruje s letadlem někde uprostřed Číny. Dlouho bloudí nekonečnou pustinou Um certo homem estava na seca pra catar uma linda chineisinha Een man is op een lange wandeltocht door China. Op een avond zoekt hij een plek om de nacht door te brengen. Op een gegeven moment ziet hij een klein huisje en hij besluit om aan te bellen. De deur... Jauns puisis pastaigājās mežā un apmaldījās. Beigu beigās tas nonāca pie mazas būdeles. Pieklauvējot
One day a man goes into a hotel and asks for a room to stay in. The manager gives him a room and warns him not to mess around with his daughter or he'll get the *“Three Chinese Tortures.”*

On his way to his room the man sees the manager's daughter. She's very beautiful and he figures he'll endure whatever he has to. So he has his way with the daughter and retires to his room.

The next morning, he wakes to find a rock on his chest. There is a note on it, saying: *“FIRST CHINESE TORTURE: ROCK ON CHEST.”* The man laughs and throws the rock out the window.

Then he sees a sign on the nightstand that says: *''SECOND CHINESE TORTURE: LEFT ТЕSТIСLЕ TIED TO ROCK.”*

Instinctively, he goes flying out the window after the rock, but as he does, he spots a sign on the windowsill that proclaims: *“THIRD CHINESE TORTURE: RIGHT ТЕSТIСLЕ TIED TO BED POST.”*
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