Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight . When Grandpa found a bottle of Viаgrа in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills. The son said,
"I don't think you should take one Dad, they're very strong and very expensive." "How much?" asked Grandpa. "$10.00 a pill," answered the son. "I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow. " Later the next morning, the son found $110 under the pillow. He called Grandpa and said,
"I told you each pill was $10, not $110. "I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma!"
A guy is sitting at a bar, and a drunк dude walks up to him, calling his mom a whоrе. The first guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his вееr. An hour goes by and the drunк dude comes back saying, "Your mom is a whоrе!" The first guy looks around the bar, sees people staring and says,
"Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunк dude walks up a third time and says,
"Your mom... is such... a whоrе!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says,
"You know what, Dad? Go home!"
A man comes home early from work and shouts, "Honey, I'm home!" No reply. So he goes upstairs and calls from the landing, "Honey, I am home," but still no reply. Frustrated, he goes into the bedroom and finds his wife on the bed, stark nакеd. "Oh Norman, I didn't expect you this early," she says, holding her chest and breathing heavily. He thinks she is having an heart attack and runs downstairs to ring for an ambulance. He starts dialing the emergency number when his young daughter starts pulling at his jacket. "Dad," she says. "Dad," she says again. "What is it? I'm busy," he says. "Uncle Jack is in the wardrobe with no clothes on," she tells him. He drops the phone and runs back to the bedroom. "You ваsтаrd, you f**king ваsтаrd," he shouts angrily at Norman. "You ваsтаrd! My wife is having a heart attack and you are going around scaring the kids!"
So, a kid happens to see his mom nакеd and asks, pointing to her vаginа, "What is that?" The mom replies,
"That is my house." She responds. A little while later the kid sees his dad nакеd and asks the same question. "Well, son, that is the Big Bad Wolf," responds the dad. Some time goes bye and the kid goes into his parents bedroom, while they are amidst sеx. "Hey mom," pipes the kid, "watch out! I think the Big Bad Wolf just walked into your house and shot the piggie!"
One day, little Suzie and her mom are walking down a beach when they see a couple having sеx. Little Suzie asks her mother, "What are they doing?" And her mother replies,
"They're baking a cake" so that she doesn't have to explain sеx to little Suzie.
Later that day, after mom has tucked little Suzie into bed, little Suzie's dad comes home. Mom and dad decide to have sеx on the couch.
The next morning, little Suzie goes up to mom and asks, "Mommy, were you and daddy baking a cake last night?"
Mom replies,
"Yes we were, Suzie. How did you know?"
Suzie replies,
"Cause I saw some icing on the couch."