Dirty jokes

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Roses are red grass is green open your legs and i'll give you some cream.

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You make me wanna use my Palm.

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam?
I can't peanutbutter my d*** in to your a**
But i can jam my d*** in to your a**

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Guy: Are your legs Nutella?
Girl: No. Why?
Guy: Cuz I'd sure like to spread them.

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One man and his wife were making a password for an account and the man wrote "my реnis". The women started to laugh because it said "not long enough!!!!"

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He :
- Alpha , betta , gamma , Q .
Now remove betta and gamma and then what will it be ? lady :
- Alpha Q ! he :
- Awesome .

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What's the difference between a priest and acne? Acne comes on your face after your thirteen!

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"Age is just a number"
"Yeah and prison is just a place"

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I'm skilled in the art of hand evacuation.

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Rich people are bad in bed, and poor people are good in bed. That's because sеx is free and poor people love free stuff. You will never get оrаl sеx from a rich girl, but a poor girl will gobble your кnов like a block of government cheese.

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Can I explore your black hole?

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If there's anything I can do to make you more nакеd... I mean comfortable. Just let me know.

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Teacher: Class, we will do a project on our history, it would be nice to bring a picture of yourself, the younger the better
Boy: So it doesn't matter how young we were
Teacher: No, it doesn't matter
*The next Day in class*
Teacher: WHAT IS THIS!!!
Boy: It is me, when i was younger
*Teacher holds up picture of a sреrм*

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Rаре is a terrible сriме... I'll never understand how a man can traumatize a woman like that. That's why I always make sure they don't remember...

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Virginity is not dignity, but lack of opportunity.

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Remember Barbie heads? The girls do. The guys are like, 'Barbie's giving head now? I've got to go shopping.'

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Three men are sitting around talking about sеx positions. One man says,
"I don't know about you guys but my favorite position is the rodeo position." the other men go," What position is that?" the man says," Well you get her down on all fours, cup her тiтs and say 'These feel just like your sisters' then wait eight seconds.

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Mother made a nice lunch and told little red to take this to grandmothers house through the woods. She warned little red to stay on the trail and do not take the shortcut through the forest as the big bad wolf was about, and if he catches you he'll suск your тiтs dry. Little red skipped down the trail until she was out of sight . Ignoring her mothers advise she headed through the forest on the shortcut. She came upon the swamp and met Mr. turtle. Mr. Turtle said to little red:
"Why would you be off the trail and into the woods when you know the big bad wolf is about, and if he catches you he'll suск your тiтs dry? Ignoring Mr. Turtle she headed on through the forest. Sure enough the big bad wolf leaped from behind a tree and said; " I've got you Little red, and now I'm going to suск your тiтs dry.
Little red said 'Oh no you won't big bad wolf, as she hiked up her skirt, "your going to eat me, just like the story goes.

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