A woman walks into a dildо shop to buy a dildо. After a few minutes of looking around she approaches the clerk.
"Excuse me, do you have anything вiggеr?" She asks.
The clerk shows her a few items on the shelf.
"I'm looking for something вiggеr than those," she says.
The clerk pauses for a moment, "I think I might have what you're looking for, but it's expensive."
"Oh that's fine," she says.
The clerk leads her to the counter where he was sitting and pulls out a massive chrome cylinder.
"$500" he says.
"Oh wow," says the woman, "that is expensive, but it's perfect."
The woman hands the clerk $500 and happily leaves the store.
The store owner comes out and asks the clerk, "so have you sold any dildоs?"
"No, but I sold my thermos for $500."
Rudolph the well hung reindeer,
Had a great enormous соск,
All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock,
All of the female reindeer, Had рussiеs that were just too small,
Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sеx at all,
Then one hоrny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your соск so strong...
Fuck my аrsеhоlе all night long!"
Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say,
"Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gаy"