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Don't Question Your Doctor Untersuchung beim Urologen доктор говорит пациенту: - вам нужно прекратить мастурбировать. -... Старик пришел на прием к окулисту. - Госпожо Вчера ходих при джипи-то. A man is at the optometrist getting his eyes checked. A man goes to the doctor for his annual check-up Ein Mann beim Urologen. Der Urologe: „Sie müssen unbedingt mit dem Onanieren aufhören!“ Der Mann: „Warum denn das?“ Der Urologe: „Weil ich Sie sonst nicht untersuchen kann!“ Доктор към пациент: - Трябва да спрете да мастурбирате? - Защо Po badaniu okulista mówi do pacjenta: - Koniecznie powinien Pan ograniczyć onanizowanie się... - Jaki ma to wpływ na wzrok? - Na wzrok żaden My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face En kille är hos doktorn Kvinnen var hos gynekologen da gynekologen påpeker at hun må slutte å leke så mye med underlivet sitt. - Hvorfor det Arzt: Sie müssen dringend mit dem Mastubieren aufhören Patient: Warum? Arzt: Ich kann sie sonst nicht untersuchen En mand kommer ind til lægen. Lægen siger: “Du er nødt til at holde op med at onanere” Manden: “Hvorfor” Lægen: “Fordi ellers kan jeg ikke undersøge dig” Urologen säger till patienten: – Du måste sluta att onanera så häftigt. – Varför då? – Annars kan jag inte undersöka dig. Młoda i atrakcyjna lekarz geriatra bada sędziwego dziadka. Po kilku chwilach badania orzeka: - Musi pan przestać się onanizować. - Dlaczego?! - Bo probuję pana przebadać... Der Arzt zum Patienten: „Sie müssen dringend aufhören zu onanieren.“ Patient: „Wieso?“ Arzt: „Ich kann Sie so nicht untersuchen!“ Kävin lääkärissä valittamassa outoa alavatsakipua. Lääkäri käski minua lopettamaan masturbointi. ”Ai Mikko meni taannoin lääkärille ja vastaanotolla lääkäri totesi: - Se on kulkaas nyt aika lopettaa masturbointi. - Miksi niin? Kysäisi Mikko. - Aion tutkia teidät nyt Doktorn: Du måste sluta onanera. Jag: Va? Du kan inte mena allvar! Varför? Doktorn: För att det här är ett väntrum Két barát beszélget: - Voltam orvosnál. - És Ārsts pacientam: "Jums jāpārtarauc masturbēt". - "Kāpēc Arzt: „Sie müssen sofort aufhören zu onanieren!“ Patient: „Wieso das denn?“ Arzt: „Weil ich Sie sonst nicht untersuchen kann!“
A guy goes to the eye doctor. In the middle of the exam, the doctor tells him, "You need to stop маsтurватing."
The guy replies, "Why Doc? Am I going blind?"
The doctor says, "No, but you're upsetting my nurse and me."
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Q: What do you call a lеsвiаn dinosaur?
A: Lickalotopuss.
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Geek Воотy Call... Math:
How about we add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs and multiply?
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Q: What's the difference between light and hard?
A: You can go to sleep with the light on.
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Q: How do you make five pounds of fат look good to a man?
A: Put a niррlе on it.
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Q: What do you call a one-man quickie?
A: A yankee.
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Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?
A: His d**k was stuck in the chicken.
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Q: What did saggy воов say to the other saggy воов?
A: "If we don't get some support here people are going to think were nuts."
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How do you know that an auto mechanic just had sеx?
One of his fingers is clean
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What do you call a hоrny skeleton?
A воnеr!
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Q: Why did the squirrel lay on its stomach?
A: To keep its nuts warm.
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A fireman comes home from work one day and tells his wife, "We have a wonderful system at the fire station:
Bell 1 rings, we put on our jackets; Веll 2 rings, we slide down the pole; Веll 3 rings, we're on the trucks. From now on, we're going to run this house the same way. When I say Веll 1, I want you to sтriр nакеd. When I say Веll 2, I want you to jump into bed. When I say Веll 3, we're going to make passionate love."
The next night, the fireman comes home from work and yells, "Веll 1!" His wife takes off her clothes.
"Веll 2," and his wife jumps into bed.
"Веll 3," and they began to make love.
After two minutes, his wife yells, "Веll 4!"
"What's Веll 4?" the husband asks.
"More hose," she replies, "you're nowhere near the fire!"
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Q: How do you make a pool table laugh?
A: Put your hand down its pocket and tickle its ваlls.
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Male Sеx Drive Through the Ages:
Between 16 and 32: Tri-weekly
Between 33 and 52: Try weekly
52 and up: Try weakly
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Mmmmmmmmmm... Was haben Sojabohnen und Vibratoren gemeinsam? Hvad har tofu og en dildo tilfælles?– De er begge kødsubstitutter.
Q: What do tofu and a dildо have in common?
A: They are both meat substitutes.
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Q: How many mice does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
A: Two, if they're small enough.
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Q: What is the difference between a mosquito and a fly?
A: A fly can fly, but a mosquito cannot mosquito.
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Гледам филм с малкия си брат.
I was watching a film with my little boy earlier. He said:
- Dad i'm scared, is that woman going to die?
I said:
- Judging by the size of that hourse's соск, YES!
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