Two gаy guys are sitting at a little pub looking out the window in a small town. This guy walks by, and the one guy says to the other, "Who is that?" The other man says,
"That's the new proctologist." He replies,
"Well, I've got to meet him." The next day, he makes an appointment and goes in to see him. The doctor asks him, "What's the problem?" and he replies,
"I have a terrible pain in my вuтт." The doctor says,
"Well, let's take a look at it." So he bends over, and the doctor gets down to look in his аss, and he says,
"Oh My God! There's a stick up your аss." The gаy man then says,
"Well, pull it out, pull it out! So he start to pull it out, and notices that it has thorns on it. "Oh my God! There are thorns on it? Well, pull it out, pull it out!" As he pulls it out, he see it's a rose. "Oh my God! It's a rose!" As the gаy man exclaims, "Well, read the card, read the card!"
A woman named Shirley was from Beverly Hills. One day, she had a heart attack and was taken to Cedars Sinai Hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. She saw God and asked, “Is this it?” God said, “No, you have another 30 to 40 years to live.” Upon her recovery, she decided to stay in the hospital and have collagen shots, cheek implants, a face lift, liposuction, and вrеаsт augmentation. She even had someone dye her hair. She figured since she had another 30 to 40 years, she might as well make the most of it. She walked out of Cedars Sinai lobby after the last operation, and was killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital. She arrived in front of God and said, “I thought you said I had another 30 to 40 years?” God replied, “Shirley! I’m sorry but I didn’t recognize you!”
A guy walks into a bar and sees a man ordering one shot after another, sobbing uncontrollably. He goes over and asks what the matter is. The man says,
"My only son just told me he's gаy and found a boyfriend last night." The guy just says,
"Gee, I'm really sorry to hear that man."
The next day, the guy goes to the same bar, and he sees the same man doing the same thing. Again, he goes over and asks what the matter is. The man responds, "I just found out that my brother has been dating this gаy guy for some time now, and today they got engaged." The guy just says "Gee, I'm really sorry to hear that, man."
The next day, the guy walks into the bar and sees the man drinking his life away. He marches up to the man and says,
"God dаммiт, does anyone in your family like рussy?" The man says,
"Apparently my wife does!"